I'm Not Over You
by Sammie03
Summary: Alex has left Seattle and gone home to Iowa, where he has a new girlfriend. Things are not going well and they go to Seattle for a wedding. Lexzie
1. Chapter 1

-1_Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters._

I'm Not Over You

Chapter 1

"Do you love me?" It was a simple question, so why couldn't I answer it?

"Are you going to answer me?" She looks really pissed.

"Of course, you know I do." Technically I'm not lying, I do love her.

"What I mean is, are you _in_ love with me?" Crap

"Look, I'm too tired for this right now." I knew when I got home she would be waiting to have this conversation. It was inevitable that she would figure things out. I'm only surprised it didn't happen sooner.

"I'm tired too! Do you know what i'm tired of Alex?" Here it comes. "I'm tired of you! I tell you I love you all the time and you never tell me! You're always at that hospital!"

"It's my job."

"And when you are here, you're not really here at all."

"Look I'm sorry, but you knew what you were getting into when you got involved with me."

"It's been five years Alex! I thought you would change! I love you and I want to make this work, so I've called Dr. Hanson and requested a vacation for you."

"You did what? You are unbelievable!"

"This is your last chance Alex, please take it."

I do feel bad; she has stayed with me when she should have dumped my sorry ass. It is not easy to love someone, who is in love with someone else. I don't think that she realizes that is the real reason I can't completely commit myself to her. I have become a master at disguising my feelings. After I left Seattle and came home to Iowa, I tried to leave everything behind. There are some things that just won't go away in my heart or my head. Maybe I owe her the chance to change things.

"Okay, I will go away with you." It's nice to see her smiling again. It's been a while since she has seemed happy.

"Thank you, I promise you this is just what we need."

"When are we leaving?" I ask.

"In the morning, we are going to a wedding. It's not till next weekend but I thought it would be nice for us to take this as an opportunity for a vacation."

"I should get things packed then."

"No need, I already packed everything. I sent in the RSVP a while ago and have had this planned for us. "

"Great. Which one of your friends is getting married, my money is on Karen."

"Well, you would be smart to bet on her but the thing is that this wedding is not for one of my friends."

"A relative?"

"No, it's one of your friends."

"Wait, how can one of _my_ friends be getting married? I would have known before you if people I practically see every day were getting married."

"The invitation came in the mail."

"Where is it?" She looks away from me and I know she is nervous to tell me something.

"I threw it away."

"Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry; I thought if you saw it you would be mad at me for sending the response."

"It's okay; do you remember who was getting married? How about where it's being held?"

"The wedding is in Seattle, I think the groom was Mark Sloan. Does that sound right?"

"No, it can't be right." I cringe.

"You don't know anyone by that name?"

"Yeah, I know Mark Sloan. There is no way he would've invited me to his wedding."

"Why."

"The guy is an ass! He was my attending back at Seattle Grace, he hated me and I wasn't crazy about him either."

"Well, maybe he respected you." I can't help but laugh at her statement. It was absurd.

"Mark Sloan never respected anyone. Did I tell you that the guy is an ass?"

"Well I don't know but we are going to the ass' wedding."

Great, my girlfriend wants me to take her to Seattle so we can work on our failing relationship. She wouldn't want to go if she knew the reason it wasn't working was a girl from Seattle; a girl I'm still in love with.

"Let's get some rest, we have an early flight. I can't wait to meet your old friends."

"Yeah, me either." That was me, disguising my feelings yet again.


	2. Chapter 2

-1

Chapter 2

"You booked us a room at the Archfield?" I asked her.

"It's supposed to be really nice. Have you ever stayed there?"

"Just once." God I hope she doesn't ask me about lt.

"Maybe after we unpack, you could show me around."

"Sure, what do you want to see first?"

"Take me to Seattle Grace; I want to see where you worked."

"Why don't we go to Joe's instead?"

"Who is Joe?"

"Joe is a good friend of mine and he owns the bar across the street from the hospital."

"I can't wait to meet all your friends Alex." Honestly I can't wait to see some of the people that meant so much to me back then; I only hope they are as happy to see me.

Walking into Joe's was like stepping back in time. Nothing seemed to change.

"Alex? Oh my god, it really is you."

The minute I hear her voice I turn around and lift her off the ground with a hug. I'm so glad to see her. The last time we spoke she was mad at me for leaving, I can't really blame her, I was mad at myself too."

"What are you doing here?" She asks me.

"I'm here for the wedding."

"_Oh_." It might just be me, but I swear I heard something in her voice just then.

"Hi, I'm Alex's girlfriend Kelly."

"Oh sorry, Kelly this is Meredith."

"It's nice to meet you Meredith."

"You too. Do you want to join us for a drink?"

"Actually…"

I'm not ready to see _her_ yet.

"We'd love to; I just can't wait to hear all about Alex's life here. He doesn't say much about it when I ask."

Meredith raises her eyebrows at me and all I can do is shrug my shoulders back at her. We follow her back to a table and I never thought I would be so relieved to see Cristina Yang sitting there all alone waiting for Meredith.

"Hey Yang."

"What are _you_ doing here?" Despite the scowl on her face, I know she's missed me.

"He's here for the _wedding_." There it is again.

"_Seriously_?"

"Hi, I'm Kelly."

"Whatever." I missed her too.

"So, what's new around here?" I ask.

"Lexie is living at the house, in your old room."

"Who's Lexie?" Oh just someone I used to sleep with.

"She's Meredith's half sister. How about Bailey? How is she?"

"Bailey is fine."

"And the chief?"

"He finally retired, but he comes by all the time to check up on us."

"O'Malley?"

Okay I know that George and I never really got along. Who am I kidding? The guy got on my nerves. There were times that it felt like we _could_ be friends, even though it never happened.

"George is fine."

"Great. How about you and McDreamy?" Cristina has got the biggest smirk on her face. I gotta stop calling that dude McDreamy.

"We're back together."

"Who's _McDreamy_?" Kelly asks me.

"It's a long story." I answer. "So Dr. Sloan is getting married huh?"

"Yeah."

"So who is the unlucky bride? Anyone I know?" They aren't looking at me, neither one of them will make eye contact. What is that all about?

"Alex? Hey when did you get here? Let me get you a drink, on the house."

"Joe, it's good to see you. How's the family?"

"They are great. Hi I'm Joe, and you are?"

"Kelly, I'm Alex's girlfriend."

After a while Kelly said she was getting tired and so we left for our hotel room. As we lie in bed that night trying to sleep, we could hear the couple next door having sex. They were loud and had been at it for almost an hour. Any other time I think it would have been amusing to listen to them. However it's been awkward between Kelly and me for so long that the sex has diminished lately. I will admit that it is mostly my fault. I have been dreaming of my ex-girlfriend almost every night and I have this extreme guilt when Kelly wants to be with me and all I can see is _her_. And there it is just like that, I'm thinking about my ex again. There is a pounding on the wall behind us and when Kelly rolls over and brushes her hand down my bare chest, reaching into my boxers I know that I have got to stop the noise from the next room. It's turning her on and I just can't do it. I hear her sigh as I throw the covers back and jump out of bed.

"Where are you going?" She asks me as I throw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"I'm going to ask them to quiet down."

"No your not, come back to bed."

"I've got to get some sleep and the only way that's gonna happen is if _that_ stops soon."

She sits up in the bed as I open the door to the hallway. I can hear her call my name as the door swings shut behind me. I knock lightly at first and when there is no answer I pound on the door furiously. The door swings open and I feel like I have been kicked in the gut when I see her. She is wrapped up in a sheet. Her hair is wild and the sweat is glistening on her exposed skin. I don't think there is a place on her body that I have not explored; she is as beautiful as I have ever seen her. I almost forgot why I am standing here in the hallway at one in the morning. That is until I hear a voice from inside her room. When he comes into view he doesn't notice me at first. He is also wrapped in a sheet and she smiles as he wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her close to him, nuzzling and kissing her neck.

"Come back to bed." I think I'm going to be sick. He looks at me. "Karev, I'd tell you how great it is to see you but I'm kinda in the middle of something here." After I rip his head off!

"Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I'm staying here, in the next room." Please don't make me spell it out.

"Oh god, sorry. I promise we'll keep it down." God I'm so in love with her, this is bad.

"Is there anything else Karev?" You are such an ass!

"Why don't you go turn the shower on for me please? I'll be right in." she asks him.

"Okay, but don't take too long."

"Just a second, I promise." He kisses her cheek and I swear she looks really uncomfortable by all of this. I wait until he is gone to speak.

"So, Mark Sloan huh?"

"Yeah, look I'm sorry about the noise. Maybe we could meet for breakfast and catch up tomorrow?"

Say no, say no, say no!

"Okay, how about nine?" Stupid!

"I'll see you then."

"Goodnight Izzie."

"Goodnight Alex."


	3. Chapter 3

-1Chapter 3

I sat at the small café near the hotel lobby. I left before Kelly woke up this morning. I left her a note simply saying I'd be back. I couldn't lie about where I was going, but I couldn't tell her either. How do you explain something like this? My problem is I can rarely tell someone a lie, it's just not who I am. When I was a kid my father lied all the time, that's what drug addicts do; they lie. My mother lied too. She lied about his abuse for so many years that I think she didn't even know she was doing it.

If Kelly ever asked me if I was in love with Izzie Stevens I would tell her the truth and say _yes_. I can safely say she will never ask me that question. She doesn't even know there _is_ an Izzie Stevens, not yet anyway. I hope to put that off for a little while.

"Is this seat taken?"

"I'm sorry it is." I smile. "I'm saving it for this extremely smart woman who is a little neurotic sometimes but who will always call you on your bullshit, because she can spot it a mile away."

"Wow, she sounds like superwoman."

"Yeah well she's also extremely hot! Funny you look a lot like her."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do. I'm afraid you aren't her though."

"I'm not?"

"No."

"Well then who does that make me?" I know I should just shut my mouth, but here is that _truth_ thing I was talking about.

"It makes you the woman who is stupid enough to marry Mark Sloan."

Fuck! Why did I do that? Her smile is gone and she turns away from me.

"Nice to see you too Alex!" She's walking.

She'll probably never speak to me again if I don't stop her now. As I hurry after her, I can't help but realize just how much I have missed her.

"Izzie, Izzie come on!"

She's not stopping, I've only seen her this mad at me one other time. I don't know why I had to push her like that; usually she's the only one I don't push away completely. I've got to stop her.

"Iz, I'm sorry okay! Please stop!"

It works because she stops and I can see her head drop like she's swearing at herself for letting me get through to her.

"Come sit with me, please?"

"Okay."

We order breakfast and I try to make small talk, carefully avoiding anything that will send her running away from the table.

"So…..How's O'Malley?"

"George is good."

"I heard the chief retired."

"Yup."

Silence.

"I'm _still_ an ass."

Okay this is promising; she's trying to hold back a smile.

"I missed you." Her voice is so soft I can barely hear her.

"I missed you too." I have missed her more than I could ever tell her.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Chapter 4

I was heading back up to my room, when the elevator doors opened Kelly was standing there looking at me, she didn't look very happy.

"Alex, where have you been? I've been worried about you."

"Sorry, I woke up this morning and couldn't sleep. I went for a run and I got you this." I held up the white paper bag, it felt like a peace offering. I stepped aside as she exited the elevator.

"What is it?" She asks me.

"Take a look." I tell her.

"A blueberry scone?"

"I thought I would bring you something to eat."

"Thanks, I am hungry."

After Izzie left the café this morning I made a few calls to check on my patients. After I was satisfied that everything was running smoothly, I ordered the scone for her. They are her favorite and I thought it would take her mind off of the fact I had disappeared this morning.

"Are we going to the hospital today?" She asks me.

"No not today. I thought we could see the sights, you know ferry boats and all."

"That sounds great."

"We have also been invited to dinner tonight."

"By who?"

"The bride and groom."

"I can't wait to meet them; maybe the whole marriage thing will rub off on you."

Or maybe I will see Sloan all over Izzie and I will have to jump over the table and stab him with my fork!

"Should be fun." I can feel the scowl on my face and I am surprised she hasn't noticed it.

"I know you don't like this guy but we should make the best of it, after all he did invite you to the most important day of his life. He must have liked you a little."

Okay so she did notice.

"I don't think that's what it is. Actually I'm sure he didn't even invite me."

Shut up! What the hell are you doing Karev?

"Well if he didn't, who did?" I can't lie.

"I was friends with the bride."

"Oh, were you good friends?"

If you mean do I know what she looks like when she has an orgasm? Yes most definitely.

"Yes we were close I guess."

"I'm so excited to meet her!"

"Why?"

"I want to ask her about all the pathetic women that couldn't seem to keep you."

I'm in hell!

"You're not seriously going to say that are you?"

"Do you think I'm a total bitch?" Well…… "Don't worry Alex I promise to be on my best behavior."

Just by the way she is smiling at me, I think I might be in trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

-1Chapter 5

When we arrived at the restaurant, I was relieved to see we were not going to be alone with Izzie and Mark. Derek and Meredith were there; actually they were the only ones there.

"Hey. Where's Izzie?"

"She and Mark are running late. It's nice to see you again Kelly."

"You too Meredith."

"Oh, this is my boyfriend Derek. Derek this is Kelly, Alex's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you Kelly, would you like to join me at the bar while we wait for our table?"

"I'd love to."

As soon as they are out of sight I notice Meredith looking at me strangely.

"What?"

"You can't fool me you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"You saw her?"

"Who?"

"Alex!"

"Okay fine, you _know_ I did. You obviously talked to her."

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Because I would understand if you weren't."

"I said I'm fine! Can we just drop this please?"

"Drop what?" Great, Mark Sloan and he's all alone.

"Nothing." I say.

"Where is Izzie?"

"Still in surgery, she shouldn't be much longer. I'm going to go check on our table."

It only takes a few minutes for our table. To my surprise it is a table for ten, now if I have counted correctly, we are only six people. That makes me worry about who else will be joining us. If I am right this should be an interesting night.


	6. Chapter 6

-1Chapter 6

"Are we late?" I hear a tiny voice say. It was Lexie, she looked great.

"We got stuck in traffic." Great George and his wife are here. I heard they got married last year.

"If you had just let me drive in the first place we would have been here early! My ninety year old grandmother drives faster than you!" It's going to be a miracle if Yang can keep her big mouth shut tonight in front of Kelly; hopefully they will be far apart at the table.

Just my luck she sits down right next to Kelly and now I have to actually pay attention to what she is saying so I can keep myself out of trouble.

"Alex aren't you going to introduce me to your friends? I haven't met them yet."

"Yeah, sure. Kelly this is Lexie, she's Meredith's sister. George and George's wife Olivia. I'm sure you remember Yang from the other night." She's pretty unforgettable!

"Nice to meet you."

As everyone starts to take their seats, I am both relieved and panicked that the only empty seat left is right next to mine. When Izzie gets here I will have to sit right between her and Kelly.

"I need a drink, where's the waitress?"

"I see you haven't changed one bit Yang."

"Shut it!"

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late."

She sits down next to me and gives me a big smile, she smells so good. I am almost tempted to lean in and kiss her just like old times when she turns her head and kisses Sloan. That's when it hits me that she's really going to marry him and all of a sudden I want to run screaming from the table. Straight to the airport to catch the first fight that will take me the hell out of this place. I can't do that so I do the next best thing, run for the bar.

"What are you drinking Yang?"

"Why?" She asks me because she knows that I am never nice to her. It's kind of an unwritten thing between us.

"Do you want a drink or not?" I say a little too loud.

"Yes….please?" I can tell she's stunned because I've never heard Cristina Yang say please to anyone before. Even as I excuse myself from the table she has a disbelieving look plastered across her face, like she can't believe she said it either.

As I sat at the bar waiting for her drink I felt a hand run across my shoulders.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine I just didn't want to listen to Yang bitch about a drink."

The bartender sets the drink down in front of me.

"I know you haven't seen these people for a long time but after dinner could we go back to the hotel? They are talking about going out after but I think it would be nice if we could have some time….." She runs her hand up my leg. "…alone."

"Sure. If that's what you want." Because it sure as hell _isn't_ how I want to spend my night! Having sex with Kelly while wishing it was Izzie, feeling so guilty I can't even enjoy it.

We walk back to the table and I realize that she has not met Izzie or Mark so I introduce them.

"So you're all surgeons?"

"I'm a nurse."

"Alex said that you didn't all get along at first?"

"We didn't get along with him!" Shut up and drink Yang.

"Why not?"

I can see her open her mouth to tell Kelly what I can only imagine is the reason they all hated me in the beginning. I expect it to be something like what an arrogant ass I was and how I cheated on Izzie and gave George a sexually transmitted disease, called Meredith a nurse and generally pissed them all off on a daily basis. However before she could get anything out, Izzie answers before Cristina can spew forth just what a shitty person I am and I am grateful.

"Being an intern is very competitive, that's all."

We made it most of the way through dinner before the conversation drifted dangerously close to something I didn't want Kelly to know about. It started with a simple comment about how George and Olivia are trying to have kids. Izzie made a comment about Olivia under her breath but George was not happy.

"Why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what George?"

"Izzie, I know why you don't like her but she's my _wife_! You're my best friend so please just let it go already." What the hell are they talking about?

"I don't blame you for hating me but I've told you I'm sorry. I didn't know you two were dating when we had sex!" They can't be talking about me, can they?

"Well he has slept with most of the women at this table! Four out of six anyway. Don't look at me I never slept with him!"

As soon as Cristina says it I realize they are talking about me! Oh shit! I know I should be concerned about what Kelly's reaction is going to be when she finds out that this is about me, but honestly I am kind of excited about the fact Izzie is still mad at Olivia for sleeping with me so many years ago. I can't seem to do anything but sit here and wait for this whole thing to explode in my face. That's when It happens, Kelly grabs my hand.

"Alex, I don't feel very well." I swear her face is almost a shade of green as she jumps up from the table and runs in the direction of the bathroom.


	7. Chapter 7

-1Chapter 7

After Kelly went running from the table, I asked Meredith if she would go make sure everything was alright while I waited outside of the ladies room with Cristina. Let me tell you, it was a very long ten minutes before Meredith came back out.

"I've never seen anyone vomit so much in my life, you owe me for this."

"What's wrong with her?" I ask her.

"She's probably pregnant!" God Cristina, why did you have to say something like that? Now I feel sick.

"She's not pregnant…Is she?" I feel my stomach churn as I ask.

"No not pregnant, I'd say food poisoning or possibly the flu."

"Thanks." I have never felt so relieved in my life.

"She asked me if I could call her a cab."

"I can take her back to the hotel."

"She wanted me to tell you that there's no reason for you to go back to the hotel and watch her sleep and you should go out with us."

"I can't do that, I really want to but I can't."

"What are you her _wife_? Be a man and go with us." She's so damn annoying.

"Yang don't think if I go you're gonna get me drunk and have your way with me cause it isn't gonna happen." That worked. She sputters something about what an ass I am and then she can't get away from me fast enough.

"Hey." She really looks awful.

"Meredith says you want to go back to the hotel and lie down?"

"I'm sorry; I just need to lie down."

"I'll go get our coats and say goodbye."

"You go out with your friends, have a good time."

"But…" To tell you the truth I don't really want to go.

"I wont take no for an answer."

"It's okay; I don't want you to have to take a cab."

I think I've got her convinced, that is until she gets a better offer.

"I can take her; I'm heading back there anyway."

"You're not going out?" I ask Sloan.

"No, I've got an early morning so I'm going back to the hotel. Would you like a ride Kelly?"

"Yes, thank you Mark. See I will be fine now go, please." Now that I know Sloan isn't going to be there, I find myself excited about going.

"Well if it's alright with you?"

"Goodnight Alex, have fun."

It's only after they leave that I learn not only is Mark not going but neither is Derek or George. Now I know what you must be thinking. How lucky I am to be getting drunk with these four beautiful women, and Yang. Okay she's not bad either; my point is this is not what I would call lucky. In fact it is just the opposite. The word _awkward_ comes to mind, remember I have slept with three of them.


	8. Chapter 8

-1Chapter 8

When we arrived at Joe's I went straight for the bar, looking for a friendly face. What I found wasn't exactly the kind of friendly I had in mind.

"Still hanging out at the same old places Dr. Karev?" She looked exactly the same as the last time I saw her, except this time I'm pretty sure she is drunk.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came for the wedding." I swear I hear a hint of bitterness.

"Me too."

"You don't live here anymore?"

"No, I moved back to Iowa six years ago."

"I didn't know that."

"I heard you got married again."

"Yeah, the divorce will be final next week."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you here alone?" She asks me.

She doesn't even flinch as she tips back the glass and drinks the clear liquid in one big gulp. I wonder how long she has been this way.

"No, I'm here with some friends."

I nod my head in the direction of Meredith and Cristina who are dancing; Izzie, Lexie and Olivia are sitting at a nearby table in what looks like a comfortable silence.

"What no girlfriend Karev?"

"She's back at the hotel."

"And you're here with all your _lady_ friends?" She smirks at me. I do find this mildly amusing.

"When you say it like that it sounds dirty." I can't help but smile at her. "She's not feeling well."

"Would you like to take me back to my room?" I'm just as surprised as she is at the boldness of her question.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"So what you're telling me is you're in love with your girlfriend?"

"I am in love." I wish it was with my girlfriend, it would make this whole thing easier. I can hear Izzie laughing and when I look, I see Meredith pulling her to the dance floor. I make the mistake of letting my eyes linger a bit too long.

"Oh….just not with your girlfriend."

She knows me better than I wanted to admit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I am hoping she will drop this.

"Well if you change your mind I'm at the Archfield, room thirteen twelve."

"Thanks anyway." I will not change my mind.

"I guess I'll just see you at the wedding."

"Yeah, do you want me to call you a cab?"

"No, thanks anyway but I had Joe call a cab for me just before you got here. It's nice to see you Alex."

"Nice to see you too Addison." I say as she walks away.


	9. Chapter 9

-1Chapter 9

I can't believe I'm doing this, sure it's not like I haven't been inside the ladies room at Joe's before but this is for a _completely_ different reason. I push open the stall doors one by one looking for her. Of course she would be in the last one, she is crouched down with her head leaning against the wall; her eyes closed.

"I must admit, this is surprisingly pretty hot." She looks up at me, clearly not amused. "Come on, lets get you home Cinderella." I say to her trying not to smirk.

"You're such an asshole."

Before I knew what I was saying, it was already flying out of my mouth.

"Yeah, but that's what you love about me."

I _am_ an asshole. I'm sure by the way she is looking at me she is thinking about the last words she said to me before I left. '_I can't believe I ever loved you, you're the biggest ass I have ever met in my life!' _It's all I can hear in my head.

"Yang and Grey are waiting for us."

"Where are Lexie and Olivia?" She asks me as I hold her hair back.

"They left about two hours ago, you know back when I said we should go home."

I watch as she reaches into the steady stream of water to splash her face.

"I've got to lie down, I feel dizzy."

"I'll get us a cab back to the hotel."

"I'm not going to the hotel tonight, I'm going home."

Suddenly I'm not in such a hurry.

"We'll go back to Meredith's."

Who said that? Oh crap it was me.

What the hell am I doing? I can't go back there.

"Alex, are you coming?"

She turned back to me and the bathroom door flung open, a woman in her mid thirties hesitated as she saw me leaning on the sink.

"Oh, sorry….I didn't know it was uh…occupied."

I'm sure it's not everyday she walks in on a couple in the bathroom doing god knows what? I'll admit the thought did cross my mind, but can you blame me? Look at her, she's still hot. The only thing is we _aren't_ a couple, not even close to it. Before I can correct the woman's mistake, she has already backed out of the room.

When we both walk back into the bar I notice Joe is coming around the corner heading to the bathrooms.

"Oh hey guys, did you just come from the bathrooms?" He asks us.

"Yeah, why?" I ask.

"Tina, the new waitress said she thought someone was having sex in the…."

Joe's eyes widen as he looks from Izzie to me, I swear I can almost see a light bulb appear above his head as it dawns on him that we have been to the bathroom, together.

"It's not what it looks like." I reassure him.

"Uh huh." He shakes his head and a smile creeps across his face. He told me once that he thought Izzie and I belonged together and that I was an idiot, he was right about me being an idiot.

He doesn't believe me. Why should he? Like I said it's not like I haven't been inside the ladies room at Joe's before tonight.

"Where are Meredith and Cristina?" Izzie asks Joe, while I pay my tab.

"I called them a cab, they left ten minutes ago."

"What? They left without us?" The annoyance in her voice is evident.

"It's okay Iz, I'll call us a cab to take you to Meredith's and I'll see if Shepard can give me a ride to the hotel."

"Oh, they didn't go to Meredith's, they went to Cristina's apartment."

"Thanks Joe."

After calling a cab, Izzie and I wait outside for our ride. We are both too drunk to drive home but she is far worse off than I am.

The ride to the place I used to call home was a long one, not because of the distance but because it was a very _quiet _ride. She starred out the window all the way home, it started to rain just before we got into the cab. The droplets of water drizzling down the glass seem to have her mesmerized.

When we arrive, I pay the driver as she climbed the front steps. As he drives off, I hear her swear under her breath.

"What's the matter?" I ask her as I leap up the steps.

"My key, I don't have it."

"Where is it?"

"In my jacket."

"Where is your jacket?" I ask.

"In my car."

"Let me guess, your car is at the hospital?"

"Mark has my car; I left his at the hospital."

"Maybe Shepard is here."

I descend down the steps, my feet hitting every other one and jog around to the side of the house. All the lights are off and the back door is locked.

"Shit." Now what? It's too goddamned cold to stand out here until someone happens to come home.

"Alex, I have my cell phone!" She is standing in the driveway, soaked. "I'll call George and see if he can bring my keys."

"Good idea."

She dials the number and holds the phone to her ear.

"George, its Izzie….no….wait…George. Damn it!"

I can only assume she is calling him again as she repeats her actions.

"No….no, come on! Not now!"

"What's the matter?"

"George muttered something about talking to me tomorrow and hung up."

"So call him back."

"I can't, I tried but I can't!' She was yelling at me now.

"Why not?" I yelled back.

"My battery just died! We're going to freeze to death out here!"

I could tell she was shivering, her shirt was soaked through and her nipples were straining against the wet materiel. Her hair clung to her face, much like the way it looked after she showered, but I would have to tuck those memories away for now and try to find a way to get her warm and dry.


	10. Chapter 10

-1Chapter 10

Once when I was ten, I got home from school and no one was there. My dad, who was _supposed_ to be waiting for me to get off the bus had gone to his favorite bar instead. I waited outside until it got dark, knowing my father would be pissed if I went to a neighbors house. It was around two in the morning when he eventually got home. I was sleeping on the crappy old fold out chair in our back yard; he stumbled over to me and smacked me in the head to wake me up. As I followed him in the house he told me that I was lucky I didn't break a window like the last time, believe me I learned that lesson well. To this day the sound of breaking glass makes my heart race and I break out into a cold sweat.

I know what you're thinking, where was my mother? She had taken my sister to visit my grandmother, she begged me to come but I was scared that if I went with her there would be no one to take care of my father. I know it's crazy that I would give a damn about what happened to the bastard, but he was still my old man. The only one I would ever have and at ten years old you don't know any better, it's almost normal when it's all you have ever known.

I look around and notice that the door to the garage is slightly opened. I grab her hand and pull her with me to what would be our shelter from the rain.

"Where are we going?' She asks me, her voice is unsteady.

"There is a heater in the garage, we can get warmed up."

Once we get in out of the rain, I pull her by the hand toward the back of the cluttered building. There is a set of steps that lead to a loft. I discovered this a long time ago, I almost forgot about it.

"What's up here?"

"Meredith used to use this place as a playhouse."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I found this when I moved in and I asked her about it. I needed to store some stuff and she said I could put some things up here."

"What kind of things?"

"Just stuff, what's with all the questions?"

"Sorry."

It was all still there, some furniture I had from my old apartment and a few boxes. I search through the first box and find exactly what I am looking for, a heater that I had in college. It was just a small one that plugged into the wall but it would help to warm us up.

"Take your clothes off." I say to her as I pull my wet t-shirt over my head.

"What?" Her eyes widen and she is looking away shyly as I push my jeans down over my hips.

"Izzie, it's not like you haven't seen it all anyway. We need to get these wet clothes off."

"But I…."

"Fine, suit yourself! Freeze if you want but I for one am going to warm up."

I can tell she is thinking it over. I plug the heater in and turn the knob to the highest setting. When I am satisfied that the heat is pouring out I turn back to the boxes and find a blanket. She has yet to take anything off as I sit on an old futon that I had to use as a couch and a bed in my old one room efficiency. I wrap up in the blanket and I hear her sigh as she pulls the wet cotton from her slender body. The small window offered us a bit light from the outside world. In the low light I could see that she didn't have a bra on and suspected this was why she didn't want to undress, it's not like she has ever been shy about running around in her underwear. The pants are next to go and after she rids herself of them she stands there like she is at a loss for what she should be doing.

"Why don't you get over here and warm up." I say to her as I lift the blanket just enough for her to climb under. She leans back against my chest as she sits down; a small sigh escapes her lips when I fold the blanket around us. "Is that better?" I ask.

"Yes." I can barely hear her.

"So…." I try to make small talk but quickly find I don't know what to say.

"So I like Kelly, she seems nice." She says to me.

"Yeah, I guess."

"How long have you been dating?"

"A while."

"How did you meet?"

"Izzie."

"Alex I'm trying here okay."

"I just can't."

"Can't what? Treat me like your friend?"

"I can't talk about my girlfriend when I can smell your perfume, when I can feel your skin against mine, I just cant okay."

"Alex you cant say things like that, I'm getting married." She sounds more like she's trying to convince herself.

"I don't think we should talk about that either." Because if we do, I know I will say something she will not want to hear.

It's silent for a while, I know her well enough to know that it's driving her crazy.

"Alex?"

I know it's childish of me but I can't seem to just give her what she wants and talk to her. When I don't answer she does something that kinda shocks me, she stands and turns to me. She doesn't stop there; she straddles my lap giving me a perfect view of her bare chest. I know I'm staring but I just can't help it.

"Alex?"

This time I look her in the eyes and she grabs my face and pulls me to her until our lips are touching and our tongues are tangled together.


	11. Chapter 11

-1Chapter 11

I'm not really sure who pulled away first, I just know that the loss of contact made me hungry for more. I can feel her body trembling above me. Her eyes close when I touch her face, brushing her lower lip with my thumb. I take a chance and move closer, she doesn't back away. Her head dips back as I kiss her neck giving me greater access. Her fingers thread through my hair and I hear a small gasp escape her as I lightly suck on the skin just below her ear. I remember all the places she likes to be touched and kissed, flooding my memory with thoughts of the way we used to make each other feel.

"Alex…" She gasps as I take her nipple into my mouth, circling it lightly with my tongue. I can feel her panties are soaked through as she grinds herself against me. I release her nipple and look up at her.

"Are you still cold?" I ask her.

"No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

My hands cup her ass and I stand up, taking her with me. I turn and lay her down on the futon. I hook my fingers into the sides of her panties, sliding them down over her legs. I drop to my knees in front of her and just as I am about to place my tongue against her swollen clit we hear a car pull into the driveway outside.

"Someone's here." She says as we both jump up and frantically search for our discarded clothing.

I unplug the heater after pulling my pants back on. We leave the comfort of the room and make our way down the stairs and out to the driveway. The car is running and she seems to recognize it immediately. The light is on in the kitchen and we quickly rush inside. The warmth of the house is nothing compared to the heat we just felt up above the garage.

George comes around the corner; he has a look of concern when he sees us.

"Are you guys okay?"

"What are you doing here George?" I'm pretty sure George has picked up on the fact she is clearly annoyed, hopefully he won't realize why.

"I came to check on you."

"You hung up on me."

"Yeah, sorry about that. After I hung up Olivia said I should call you back in case it was an emergency. Your phone went strait to voice mail so I thought I should check on you. Why were you outside in the rain?"

"I didn't have my key."

"You were locked out? I didn't see you outside?"

"We were in the garage." I tell him.

"I'm going upstairs; I think a shower sounds like a good idea." Izzie says quietly.

"Izzie. " I say.

She doesn't look at me as she walks away; I think I have really fucked up.

"Can you give me a ride to the hotel?" I ask George.

His eyebrows scrunch up in confusion about our exchange, or lack of one.

"Sure."

The ride to the hotel was quiet, I could tell he wanted to ask me something but thankfully he chose not to. I really don't know what I would tell him. We pull into the parking lot, I climb out of his car and I am about to shut the door.

"Alex?"

"What George?" I sigh.

"Did something happen tonight?"

"Like what?" Shit.

"I don't know I just got the feeling that you and Izzie were fighting about something."

"Nope." Not fighting.

"Are you sure because…."

"Yeah. Thanks for the ride."

I shut the door and walk away before he can continue. This is the last thing I want to be talking to _O'Malley _about.

Maybe I can sneak into my room without waking Kelly up. I can't face her tonight, especially when all I can think about is what would've happened if George hadn't interrupted.


	12. Chapter 12

-1Chapter 12

My neck aches from waking up in the bathtub of my hotel room. I'm standing in front of the mirror, thinking about last night with Izzie.

"You look happy; you must've had a good time."

Kelly leans against the door frame, she still has her clothes on from last night. Her light brown curls are slightly matted and her face is still pale. I can't feel like a bigger asshole.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Still a little queasy, I think I'm just going to hang around here today, maybe just watch some TV and get some rest. Do you mind?"

"No, I just want you to feel better. We can stay here today; lie around in bed and watch TV if that's what you want to do. We can order room service later, when you feel up to eating."

"You don't have to stay here with me; you should go see your friends."

"No, I'll stay here with you."

"Alex that's very sweet of you, but unnecessary."

"Kelly, I'm staying."

"Okay."

I climbed in the bed next to her, pointing the remote at the TV. Loud crashing sounds filled the room, a classic action movie.

"Is there anything else on?" She asks me.

"Uh, let's see….." I flip through the channels, she squeals when I land on a talk show.

"I love this show!"

It's an entire hour of a man talking about being in love with his ex-girlfriend, it's very touching. Then they brought out the current girlfriend who ran over his foot with her SUV when she found out. I sigh.

"Alex why don't you tell me about what you did last night?"

"What?"

"Well you obviously don't like the show I'm watching so maybe we could talk instead."

"What do you want to know?"

"Where did you go after the restaurant?"

"Joe's."

"Did you have fun?" I had fun after Joe's.

"Yeah, it was alright." I say

"Who went?" She asks me.

"Just me, Meredith, Cristina, Olivia, Lexie and Izzie."

"Oh." She is too quiet.

"Yeah, they all got drunk and I was left to take care of them." I say.

"You missed them?" something in my voice must've given it away, I did miss them. I'm going to try to answer this carefully. God knows I don't need my foot run over by _her _SUV.

"I guess."

"They're all gorgeous." Here it comes. "Did you ever date any of them?" Fuck!

"Briefly."

"Was it Cristina?"

"No! Why would you think that?"

"Well I thought maybe you broke things off with her or something, she's not very nice to you."

"She's not nice to anyone, that's just how she is."

Please god let her drop this conversation.

"Oh, so you never….."

"With Yang, no!"

There is a long pause and I think she has gone back to watching TV; I might just be able to avoid any further interrogation.

"So who _did_ you date?"

Fuck, I'm so screwed!


	13. Chapter 13

-1

Chapter13

It was a question that I did not want to answer, I'm afraid that as soon as I say it out loud she's going to see right through the wall I put up around my heart. She's going to see that it's not her that I hold there, it's Izzie.

"So who _did_ you date?" She stares at me anxiously.

"It was a long time ago, does it matter?"

"That answer tells me it does….Who was it Alex?"

"Well…."

She sits up straight in the bed, never taking her eyes off of me.

"Were there more than one?" Her voice rises slightly.

"Kelly…"

"There were! How many…..no don't tell me I don't think I wanna know!"

"Like I said, it was a long time ago…"

"I think you better go."

"What? Kelly come on." I reach out for her hand, she sharply pulls it away.

"I just need to think about this, alone. Please just go find something to do I'll be fine with a little time." I nod my head and get out of the bed, slipping my shoes on and grabbing my key as I walk toward the door. "I knew you had been with other women, I just didn't think you would care about any of them." She says as I reach for the door.

"I'll take off for a few hours. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I was just hoping to leave my stupid mistakes in the past."

After I shut the door I realized I didn't have anywhere to go, so I went for a run in the park. As I jogged along the path, something caught my eye. It was Addison; she was standing in front of a taller man with a dark jacket on. He was back to and his head was mostly covered by a baseball cap. She was crying. Tears streamed down her face as she yelled at him; out of concern I started walking toward them. The man pulled her into a hug and the next thing I knew they were kissing. I stopped in my tracks when his hat flew backwards and landed on the ground below. It was Mark Sloan, kissing Addison not more than fifteen feet in front of me.

I wasn't sure if I should just turn around and walk away or march over and punch the jerk out! I chose the former. Maybe it was just innocent, after all I am the last person who should be judging _anything_ after what Izzie and I almost did last night. I keep walking, going over things in my head. The next thing I knew I was standing in front of her house, staring up at her window. As I contemplate my next move I hear a voice coming from the driveway.

"Are you going to stand there all day and stare at my house or are you going to come in?" She is getting out of her car, I was so lost in thought I didn't hear her pull up.

"I thought I'd stare for a while thanks." I smirk at her and she smiles at me.

"Does she know you're here?"

"Izzie? I don't think so." She opens the back of the jeep, pulling out a long black bag.

"What's that?" I ask as I hold my hand out, offering to take it for her.

"It's Izzie's wedding dress, she asked me to pick it up for her."

"Oh."

Entering the house, Meredith takes the dress from me and hangs it in the hallway closet.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing here?" I'm sure she thinks I'm here to do something stupid and she might be right.

"I don't really know why I'm here, I was in the park and I just ended up here."

"Don't!" She yells at me.

"Don't what?"

"Alex, you know exactly what I'm talking about! Don't do it to her, not again." The last part comes out more softly.

"I'm not _doing_ anything Meredith."

"Good. She's happy and it took a long time for her to get that way."

That reminds me.

"I saw something today…" Just as I was about to tell Meredith what I saw in the park, Izzie came downstairs.

"Hey what's all the yelling down here?" Izzie asks us as she looks back and forth between us.

"Nothing, just yelling at Alex for staying away so long. Do you still want a ride to the hospital?" Meredith asks Izzie.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

Meredith takes a minute to warn me with an intense stare, then goes to wait outside for Izzie.

"Iz…."

"Alex about last night, I know we were drunk but that's no excuse. We shouldn't have let _anything_ happen, I mean thank god George showed up when he did. We probably would've ….well you were there, you know what we would've done."

"Yeah….."

"Anyway, I'm willing to chalk it up to yet another drunken mistake in my life if you are?"

Except the only problem is, for me it wasn't a mistake. Sure she's getting married in a few days and I have been with Kelly for five years now, but for me the only mistake's I've ever made concerning Izzie were cheating on her in the first place and leaving when we could've become more than just friends just over six years ago.

"Sure Iz, look I gotta go. Kelly is still not feeling great so I gotta check on her."

"I just talked to her; she said she was feeling better."

"She did?"

"Yeah, I called to invite her out with the girls tonight."

"And she said yes?" Uh-oh.

"Yeah, she said she couldn't wait to learn more about you."

"Fuck!" It slips out of my mouth before I can stop it.

"Alex, don't worry I have no intention of telling her about last night. That's something between us that no one has to know about. I gotta go."

"Yeah, me too."

"Oh yeah I was supposed to invite you to Mark's bachelor party, it's tomorrow night."

"He already had his bachelor party by the looks." I say under my breath.

"What?" She asks me with a confused look.

"Nothing, I'll see ya."

I pull the hood of my sweatshirt back up to cover my head as I start the long jog back to the hotel to find out what Kelly is up to.


	14. Chapter 14

-1Chapter 14

Walking through the door of my hotel room that afternoon proved to be surreal in the fact that in place of my very sweet girlfriend Kelly, I found a woman I barely recognized. She was sitting at the small desk, scribbling on a small note pad.

"I was just writing you a note." her voice was colder than usual.

"You were? What for?" I ask cautiously.

"I wanted to let you know I was going shopping for something to wear tonight. Izzie called earlier and invited me out for a girl's night."

I leaned against the wall, keeping my distance from her.

"I thought you were going to take it easy today?"

"I changed my mind; I thought you would appreciate the fact I am trying to get to know your friends better!" She snapped at me.

"I do really, but if there's something you want to know just ask me. You don't have to involve anyone else in this."

Her features changed as she plastered a big smile on her face, she stood and crossed the room until she was inches away from me. Her warm hand rubbing against the stubble on my face.

"Alex, don't worry. I could care less about your past, or anyone in it for that matter. I just want to have a little fun tonight." Her hand drops back down to her side and she moves toward the door. "Relax I'm not going to ask any of those women about your screwed up love life. I have a front row seat, remember?"

The door closes behind her and I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding in.

Four hours later Kelly returns with several bags. She laid them on the bed, eyeing me as I flipped through the channels on the television.

"I'm sorry Alex."

I sigh.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm just not good at this, I never have been."

"Good at what?"

"Relationships. I suck at them."

"Why? Why are you so closed off to everyone?" I honestly don't know how to answer her question, so I don't. "Alex, in the five years we have been together have you ever once told me you loved me?"

"No."

"Why not?" Again I don't answer. "How many serious relationships have you been in?"

I wish I could just lie, but I can't.

"None."

"Never?"

"No."

"I see." She sits on the edge of the bed. "How many of them have you slept with?"

I have no choice but to answer, there is no simple way out of this.

"Three."

"Three? So I will be getting drunk tonight with three women you used to fuck?"

"Well, four if Addison goes."

"Who else? Who were the three you slept with?"

"Olivia….."

She interrupts me.

"Your friend George's _wife_?"

"Yes, but they weren't married then." I don't know why I felt the need to clarify that.

"Have you _ever_ slept with a married woman?"

"Yes."

"How many?"

"Just one." Her arms cross and she is silent. "It was just sex, and she chased me. It wasn't the other way around or anything. At the time I was sleeping with someone else." Shut up! Why can't I just shut up? She's not even asking questions about this, I just can't seem to shut my fucking mouth.

"Uh huh and who was that?"

"Lexie."

"Isn't that Meredith's sister?" She sounds disgusted and I haven't even brought up Izzie yet.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Have you ever been in love with _anyone_?"

"Yeah, once."

I await the next question, to my surprise it never comes. Instead she picks up the bags from the bed and locks herself into the bathroom as she gets ready for her night out.

I hear the door slam shut, the clock beside the bed said it was one thirty five in the morning. I keep my eyes to the wall, pretending to be asleep. I hear her shoes hit the floor with a thud. She has been out with the girls, _learning_ all kinds of stuff about me I'm sure.

"I know you're not asleep." She is not as drunk as I expected. I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

"Did you have a good time?" I'm just asking for it now.

"It was very _informative_." she says.

Careful Alex, one wrong move could bring out her evil twin that was here earlier. I roll over and sit up in the bed as she climbs in under the covers.

"Are you still mad at me?" I ask.

"No."

I'm not convinced. She turns away from me and tugs the blankets harshly over her shoulder.

"Who went?"

"Don't worry Alex, all your girlfriends were there!"

"Kelly, I'm sorry okay."

"Alex you have mistaken me for someone who fucking cares!"

I toss the covers to the side and find my shoes in the dark room.

"Alex! Where are you going?" She yells.

"Kelly, you have also mistaken me as someone who is going to put up with your shit!" I grab my jacket and key. The door slams behind me as I leave her stunned.


	15. Chapter 15

-1Chapter 15

Climbing the creaky old steps, I just wanted to be alone. This was the only place I knew no one would bother me. Not many people even realized it was there, the loft above Meredith's garage was going to be my room for the night. I could've gone to the house and knocked on the door. They would've let me sleep on the couch but then I would have to explain why I was here, begging for a place to stay in the middle of the night.

There was no need for the heater tonight; it was pretty warm out without the chill of the rain. I sat down on the futon and pulled a box toward me. I knew what was in it. Pulling out a flashlight I had brought from the car, I opened the box that held what was left of my childhood. I sucked in a deep breath as I lifted the flaps.

A flood of memories entered my mind and an overwhelming fear took over my body. I stood and dropped the flashlight, ready to run and hide. That's when I heard footsteps on the creaky wood. Through teary eyes I saw her. She paused at the top of the stairs only for a moment; she was probably shocked to see me here in this shaken state. Steadily she walked to me. Slowly bringing her soft hands against my rough face she wiped the tears away with her thumbs, her smile was not that of pity but concern. I closed my eyes the second I heard her voice.

"Alex, you're shaking. Are you cold?" She reached down and grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around me. Her body was pressed against mine and for the first time in my life I wanted to let go of my past, I felt safe enough to do it as long as she was holding on to me.

"Izzie."

She kissed my forehead, pulling me tighter into her arms and I couldn't stop the tears from falling any longer.

"It's okay Alex, I'm here and I'm not letting you go." Her voice was soft and loving, it was everything I needed.

My tears eventually ran out and we sat on the futon side by side, her arm laced with mine and she held tightly onto my hand.

"Can I show you something?"

She nodded her head and I reached into the box, pulling out a stack of pictures.

"Is that you?" She points to a picture of me and my sister when I was about six years old.

"Yeah, that's my little sister." I showed her the next one.

"Is that your mom? She's beautiful."

"Yeah, that's my mom and me when I was a baby."

The next picture was one that made her sigh.

"That's your dad?"

The resemblance was obvious, only slight differences in appearance.

"That's my old man." My fingers trace the worn edge's of the photo, a man I have not seen at since I was sixteen years old. A man I see everyday in the mirror.

"He looks so...cold"

"He was a mean son of a bitch, treated my mother like shit."

"Alex." I look into her eyes. "You aren't your father, not even close. You might look like him but there is nothing else about you that is similar."

"That's not exactly true, we both _suck _at relationships."

"Do you know what I think?"

"Iz…" She ignores me and keeps going.

"I think that you push people away. I think that you just _don't_ get into relationships with people you care about because you're afraid that you'll do what your father did."

"You're right; I cheated on you the same day I realized I was falling…." Shit, I hope she didn't pick up on that!

"The day you realized what?" She knows what I was going to say, I'm sure of it by the way she is looking at me.

"Nothing…" I break eye contact and stuff the pictures back inside the box. "I should get going its late."

"Alex, what _are_ you doing here this late?"

"Kelly and I had a fight, I needed some air."

"What were you fighting about?"

"It's stupid, she's jealous."

"Jealous of what?"

"My past."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so I guess I should go back to the hotel."

"You don't have to, you can stay here."

"Nah, too many memories here."

"I meant you could stay inside the house, on the couch."

"Too many memories there too." I say mostly to myself, but she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"Alex, please stay. It's late and I'll make you breakfast in the morning."

"I don't know Iz."

"Please? I don't want to be up worrying about you all night."

"Okay I'll stay."

I still can't say no to her.


	16. Chapter 16

-1Chapter 16

I awoke to the smell of bacon cooking, and the glare of the small woman standing at the foot of the couch, her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing on my couch Alex?"

I sit up, pulling the blanket from my body. The funny thing is that I don't remember having one when I laid down last night.

"Good morning to you too Lexie."

"What exactly did you tell your girlfriend about us?"

Shit, I almost forgot she went out with them last night.

"Why?" I really hate to know what happened.

"Because she was…."

"Breakfast is ready." Izzie yells from the kitchen.

I raise my eyebrows at Lexie as she scowls at me and leaves the room, never finishing her sentence.

Izzie is setting a plate of food on the table when I come into the kitchen.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?"

"Great, food smells good Iz. I missed your cooking."

"Doesn't Kelly cook?"

"No, not really. I usually cook when she stays over."

I lift the fork and stab at the omelet. I wonder if she remembers this is my favorite.

"Stays over? You guys don't live together?" She asks me.

"No."

"Oh. I got the impression that you lived together."

"She wanted me to move into her house but I like my apartment."

I bring a piece of perfectly cooked bacon to my mouth. It melts on my tongue, just the way I like it.

"So the fight you had last night……" She stops like she's not sure how to proceed. "You said she was jealous?"

"Yeah why, what happened?"

"Did she tell you anything?"

"No, but Lexie might have started to say something earlier. What did she do?"

Izzie sighs; I keep my eyes on her.

"She was pretty awful. She gave nasty looks to Olivia all night, not that I feel bad for Olivia at _all_ but…."

"Did she say anything to you?"

"No, but she also called Lexie a slut."

"She what?"

"Yeah, it was pretty bad. I'm sorry Alex, I wasn't sure if I should tell you about it or not."

"No, I'm glad you said something. I think I should go talk to Lexie."

"She's probably upstairs; I know she was really upset about it."

"Thanks Iz, do you mind?" I wanted to talk to Lexie about this mess but I didn't want to just leave Izzie.

"No, go ahead."

She smiled at me and as I was walking out of the kitchen I turned back to her.

"Iz?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for letting me stay on the couch."

"You're welcome Alex."


	17. Chapter 17

-1Chapter 17

The door to her room is open; she rolls her eyes when she sees me.

"Can I come in….Please?"

"I guess."

It is strange to be in my old room. I remember the first day I moved in. I walked in on Izzie in the shower that day, and I lied to her; telling her I wasn't interested in her anymore. Maybe if I had just told her the truth, things would've turned out differently.

"Look, Izzie just told me what Kelly said to you."

"What do you want Alex, cause I have important stuff to do." She says to me as she flips through the pages of a magazine. I smirk at her and she closes the pages, throwing it aside. "Okay so not _that_ important."

"I'm sorry."

"What did you just say?"

"I said I'm sorry, for what she said to you. It has nothing to do with you, she is pissed at me."

"She's pissed at _you_ so she called _me_ a slut? That doesn't make sense."

I motioned to the bed asking silent permission to sit, she nodded in agreement.

"There are a lot of things that I didn't tell Kelly about before we came here. I know I should have but she kind of sprang this whole trip on me. Hell, I didn't even know whose wedding I was coming home for."

"How could you not know?" She looks at me in disbelief, I sigh.

"She sent the reply back and then threw it away so I wouldn't see it."

"That's awful."

"Yeah, then she called my boss and requested a vacation for me without my knowledge."

"Alex, why are you with her?" I don't know how to answer so I shrug my shoulders. The truth is that I have asked myself that very question several times in the past five years. It was a question that I could never come up with answer for. "Why is she pissed at you?"

"Because I'm not in love with her."

"I still don't understand why she called me a slut."

"She asked me if I had ever been in love…"

"And you said no?"

"I said yes, but she's really pissed because she knows that I don't love _her_. Yesterday she asked if I had ever had sex with any of you."

"And you told her about us having sex?"

"Well, yeah."

"Does she think you're in love with _me_?"

That's a good question; I don't really know what she thinks. I never did get a chance to tell her about me and Izzie.

"I honestly don't know. I left before I found out."

She is quiet for a few minutes. Then as if a light bulb had gone off above her head, she looks at me strangely.

"Hey Alex do you remember that first night we were together?"

"What about it?"

"You told me that you weren't going to be able to give me anything but sex."

"I remember."

"You said you were hung up on someone…..were you in love with her?"

Those Grey sisters are too smart for their own damn good, nosey too!

"Yeah, I'm in love with her." I didn't even notice my slip of the tongue, but she did.

"You're still in love with her? You said I'm in love with her, not I _was_ in love with her. Alex that was a long time ago."

"I know."

"So why aren't you with this girl?"

"It's complicated."

She nods her head and just when I think I am off the hook in this conversation, she lets me know that I am not with another round of questions.

"Who is it?"

"Who is what?

"I thought it was that other girl at first. You know the married one."

"Rebecca? No, it wasn't her."

"So who was it?"

Trying to avoid answering, I stood and walked to the window.

"Just a girl that I screwed things up with."

"I'm sure there are millions of us out there."

I turn to see the smirk on her face, my first instinct is to make a smart assed comment followed by a hasty retreat but for some reason I can't bring myself to follow through with it. I just stand there looking at her, should I tell her what she wants to know? Against my better judgment I think I will go with honesty here, mostly because that's just who I am. A small part of me wants to tell someone, I have been keeping it to myself for a long time.

"What I'm about to tell you stay's between us, is that clear?"

"You're _really_ going to tell me?" She sounds shocked.

"Unless you don't want to know?"

"No! I want to know, who is it?"

My eyes look at the open door to her room, I walk over to shut the door tightly and then lean against it.

"Well, I've never told anyone this….."

"Alex, just tell me!" She impatiently demands.

"Izzie! " I say a little louder than I intended.

There is no reaction at first, like she is thinking it over. She scrunches her nose and looks up at me with innocent eyes from where she sits.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, I'm in love with Izzie."

It feels good to say it out loud, If only I could have had the balls enough to say it to the right person along time ago.

"I'm sorry Alex."

"Yeah well, she's happy and that's all I want."

"She's getting married…."

"I know that."

"To Mark Sloan!"

"Yes I know. I'm here for the wedding, remember."

"She's not happy Alex."

"What are you talking about?"

"She might be _telling_ everyone she's happy, but she's not! How could she be?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Okay yes, he's hot…"

"Thanks, that helps."

"…but when she's here at night, I can hear her crying sometimes."

"What? How often?"

"All the time. Ever since he asked her to marry him…… And you're hot too."

"Do you know what she is crying about?"

If he has anything to do with this, I will kick his ass! God knows I've wanted to kick my own ass a few times for being the reason she cries.

"No, so you said you screwed things up with her? How?"

"I cheated on her."

"You dated? I never knew that."

"Yeah, at the start of our internship."

"Oh. Alex, did you ever tell her?"

"That I am in love with her, no."

"Maybe if she knew……"

"It wouldn't change a thing." A mischievous grin appears on her face. "Lexie this stays between us remember."

After a long pause she sighs.

"Alright I promise not to say anything."

"Good."

After being satisfied that Lexie was not going to say anything, I left her room and went back down to the kitchen. Izzie had cleaned up the mess left from breakfast and as I walked further into the kitchen I found something I was not quite ready for, sitting in my place at the table was Mark Sloan. Izzie was standing at the sink, looking out the window. Her arms were folded. He got up from the table and put his arms around her, I heard her sigh.

"I'll be back early Saturday morning, I promise. It's not a big deal."

"Your going to miss the rehearsal, how is that not a big deal?"

"Derek can stand in for me, he is the best man."

I clear my throat, letting them know I am here.

"Is everything alright?" I ask.

"Everything's fine, I've just got to go to LA for a couple days."

"LA? What's in LA?" Like I don't know what, or who you will be doing in LA.

"I've been asked to scrub in on a very rare surgery; I'm leaving in the morning."

"Oh I see."

"Karev, can _you_ go to the rehearsal?" I can't believe he is asking me this and from the look on Izzie's face she can't believe it either.

"Me? I don't know."

"Mark, I don't think that…." Izzie starts to protest, however Sloan interrupts her.

"You can stand in for Derek and he will stand in for me."

"I…." It's my turn to protest but again Sloan interrupts.

"Great, thanks Karev." He kisses her cheek and walks out the door with a big grin on his face. Izzie turns back to look out the window.

I cautiously approach her, she grips the countertop. I give her a slight nudge with my right arm causing her to look at me, she smiles. I have seen enough of her smiles to tell when they are real, this one is _not_.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Alex, I'm just a little tired and I think I'm going to go lay down. You can stay as long as you want, I'm sure no one will mind."

After she climbs the steps on the way to her room, I enter the living room and sit on the couch. I look down at the blanket that was covering me this morning; I lift it to my nose and inhale deeply. It smells like Izzie, she must've covered me up in the night. The thought brings a smile to my face.


	18. Chapter 18

-1Chapter 18

I slide the key card into the door lock. As I walk inside I am met with a pair of arms wrapping around me, she has been crying and I instantly feel bad for some reason.

"Where have you been? I have been so worried about you."

"I stayed at Meredith's, on the couch."

"Alex, I'm sorry for being such a bitch yesterday. I don't know what got into me."

"Thank you for apologizing, but I have been thinking about this and I wish I had just told you everything as soon as I found out we were coming here."

She lets go of me and I am grateful she does, it kinda felt like she was trying to choke me. I sit on the edge of the bed and hold my hand out, motioning for her to sit.

"You can tell me now, I want to know everything."

"Okay, where should I start?"

"The beginning would be nice?"

"Okay, when I first came here I slept around with lots of women. I won't apologize, because it won't change any of it."

"I know you slept with people before Alex. I'm not stupid enough to believe that when we met you were a virgin or anything."

"Far from it. The hospital held a mixer for the new interns the night before our first day of work; I talked to several women that night. One in particular caught my eye, she was gorgeous. I started a conversation with her, introducing myself. After about five minute's I did something stupid and basically told her she was too pretty to be a hardcore surgeon. That night I went home with George's wife, Olivia."

"You know, you don't have to tell me _everything_."

"I do, believe me. Anyway Olivia and I continued to sleep together for the next couple of weeks, until she broke it off with me."

"Why?"

"For George, they went out and she liked him so she got rid of me. It was cool because I was never serious about her. She and George didn't last long though, he was infatuated with Meredith, but that's a whole other _strange_ story that I don't want to get into. Anyway, all the other interns in Dr. Bailey's group hated me."

"They _all_ hated you?"

"Yeah, I was kind of an ass; anyway I did make one friend in the group. Surprisingly the gorgeous girl I insulted from the mixer became my only friend. After a while we started dating and I really liked her but like I said I was an ass, and I cheated on her…with Olivia."

"That's horrible, she must've hated you. I would've never spoken to you again."

"That's what she should've done; don't get me wrong she was mad at me. Really mad at me, but she gave me another chance at friendship."

"She stayed friends with you…..Lexie?"

"No, not Lexie. Izzie."

"Oh."

"I'm not telling any of this to hurt you, but I think you should know that these people, they are my family. Above everything they have always been there for me, even Yang in her own twisted way."

"I get it, you heard about me calling your friend a slut?"

"Yeah and I know that you were hurt by all of this, but I care about these women and I won't let you speak to any of them like that! And as far as Lexie is concerned, she is just a friend. There has never been anything but sex between us, I was never able to give her more."

"How many times did you sleep with her?"

"Not many, it ended as soon as she found out about the other woman I was sleeping with."

"What _else_ should I know?"

"You should know that if there was one thing I could change in my life, it would be cheating on Izzie."

"What? That's the one thing you would change?"

"Yeah, because she's the only girl that I have ever been in love with."

"You son of a bitch!" She slapped me hard across the face.

"I got you a plane ticket home. I want you to leave."

"I wasted five fucking years on you…..she's getting married to a guy you hate, and you're breaking up with me? What's going to happen when she gets married and you come home? Don't you _dare_ think I am going to be there waiting!"

By now she is frantically shoving her clothes into her open suitcase. I didn't want things to end like this but it isn't fair to string her along any longer.

"I am home; I'm staying here in Seattle. I already called the hospital and told them. There is a position for me here at Seattle Grace and I'm taking it."

"I hope this all blows up in your face!"

She pulls roughly on the zipper, closing the suitcase.

"Kelly, I _am_ sorry for wasting five years of your life." Honestly I am.

"Fuck you Alex!" She screamed as she grabbed the plane ticket out of my hand and slammed the door behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

-1Chapter 19

I absently picked through the bowl of bar nuts, not that I was going to eat them but I had to keep my mind occupied as Mark Sloan hit on everything in a skirt. Everyone else must've thought it was innocent flirting on behalf of the happy groom. I might have thought the same thing if I hadn't seen him in the park kissing a woman he claimed to have once loved, a woman that almost ended his lifelong friendship with Derek Shepard. Sucking the last of the liquid out of my bottle of beer, I waved Joe over and ordered another. I heard him sit next to me but tried to ignore it, I knew there would be many questions.

"Dr. Shepard just told me you are coming back to Seattle Grace."

"Yeah."

"That's great."

"Yeah."

"Isn't it?"

"It is."

"What does your girlfriend think about it?"

I sigh.

"Kelly is gone, I broke up with her."

"Oh, that's uh….good I guess, well not for her but if…I mean…"

"O'Malley stop talking, you're giving me a headache."

"So where are you going to live?"

"I don't know George."

"Maybe you could take Izzie's room after she gets married."

It was a simple suggestion but it irritated me.

"Hey can I ask you a question?" I see Sloan whispering in the ear of a very young looking girl with blonde hair and dark green eyes, her breasts are popping out of the tight red shirt she has on. She giggles and I can't help but wonder why he is spending his last night in town here hitting on women instead of with the woman he is marrying on Saturday.

"Sure."

"Do you think that Izzie is happy?" I ask him.

"She says she is."

"I know but look at him." I nod my head toward the man Izzie is committing herself to, he is tracing the skin just above the edges of the red material that is holding the blonde girls breasts as he continues to whisper to her.

"It's a bachelor party Alex, he's just flirting. It's harmless…."

I nod again in the same direction, George sighs as we watch the blonde walk toward the door with Mark Sloan following closely behind.

"You were saying?" I ask.

I get up from my stool and follow the couple to the parking lot. I see her up against his car; his body is pressed against hers. I clear my throat and he turns his head glaring at me.

"What Karev?"

"Shepard is looking for you." I hate lying but I will do it for Izzie.

"What does he want?"

"I don't know he just asked me to find you, maybe you should go ask him."

Feeling the tension between us, the girl slips from between Sloan and his car.

"Well, I think I should go. It was nice to meet you Mark." The girl says as she walks away.

Once she is gone, his head drops and he sighs.

"My god Karev, you are _still_ a pain in the ass and your timing sucks! Did you see her breasts? They were fantastic, I wonder who did them?"

I can't believe what I am about to say!

"I don't know if you realize it but Izzie has fantastic breasts that are _real_! Why don't you go spend the night with her?" I yell.

As I turn around I see George standing by the door.

"Can we go?" I ask. He nods his head and walks toward his car, I rode here with him and I was hoping the ride home would be a quiet one. I was pissed and I'm pretty sure he picked up on it because he was quiet until we reached the hotel.

"You don't think he would really cheat on her do you?"

"If he does, he's an idiot." This is something I know all about; I was an idiot for cheating on her.

"I thought he changed….do you think he changed?" He asks me.

"I don't know George…" And I don't know, not for sure. I could tell Izzie about my suspicions, I'm afraid she wouldn't believe me and I don't want to loose her. "No I don't think he's changed, not really."

Climbing out of the car I thank him for the ride and make my way to the empty hotel room.

I lay on top of the covers of the king size bed, staring at the ceiling. The moonlight is bright enough to light up the room. The vibration of my cell phone startles me as it jumps across the bedside table. Reaching out I take the small phone into my hand and look at the number.

"Hey." I say as I flip open the phone. "I was just thinking about you."


	20. Chapter 20

-1Chapter 20

"Hey." I say as I flip open the phone. "I was just thinking about you."

"Are you having a good time?"

"Uh…I'm actually back at the hotel."

"It's only eleven thirty."

"Yeah."

"Oh, I tried calling Mark but it went straight to voice mail. Was he having a good time?"

"Iz…"

"Oh god Alex I'm sorry…..I thought you'd still be out, I didn't wake up Kelly did I?"

"No…Kelly's gone. I broke up with her."

"Alex are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be alright."

"I'm coming over."

"Izzie, you don't have to, besides I think Mark might come see you tonight so you better just stay there."

"Oh…well okay but call me if you need to talk."

"Listen I promise I'll call you in the morning, I have a lot to tell you anyway."

"Is it anything bad?"

"No, I promise."

"Okay then, goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight."

I closed the phone and set it back on the bedside table. I really wanted to tell her about what happened at the bar, but I was hoping that Sloan would just take my advice and go to Meredith's. Izzie was probably shaving her legs right now so they could have hot sex…god that makes me want to puke!

I reach for the remote and turn on the television, pressing the volume button up until loud noises fill the room. I hope it takes my mind off Izzie and Sloan. I spend the next hour or so watching a movie. I toss and turn in the bed, having trouble falling asleep so I climb out from underneath the covers and walk to the bathroom. I reach in and turn the knob on in the shower; while I wait for the hot water I shave the stubble off my face and strip my clothes off.

The hot spray of water is relaxing against my aching muscles; I hadn't realized just how tense I was. I squirt the shampoo in my hand and scrub it into my hair. I reach out into the bathroom and grab the wash cloth off the towel rack. After washing, I rinse myself of the soap. As I turn the water off I can hear a soft knocking on the door of my hotel room. I slip the larger towel off the rack and wrap it around my waist, ignoring the dripping water from the rest of my body I hurry to the door. I wonder who would be knocking at this hour. I pull open the door and am slightly shocked at what I see, it's Izzie. Her long coat is buttoned tightly all the way to the top where the materiel rubs against her chin. She is standing there with a smile on her face that soon disappears. Her eyes wander over my wet towel clad body and she bites at her lip nervously.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask.

"Mark never showed up so I thought I would come here, he's not in his room so he must still be out."

"Yeah, probably." That fucking asshole! "Do you want to come in?"

"Sure….I wasn't sure if you would still be up or not. I thought while I was here I would check on you."

She walks into the dark room and I close the door behind her, snapping on the light as I do.

"Here let me take your coat."

"No, that's okay I'm a little cold."

"Oh, okay…do you want to sit?"

"Yeah."

She sits on the edge of the bed and even though I am at least a foot way from her, I suddenly feel like we are too close for comfort for the amount of clothes I am wearing. I take a few steps back and she looks at me curiously. I can feel a sudden rush of heat soaring through my body; it must be a hundred degrees in here.

"Are you sure you don't want to take your coat off? It's really hot in here." I say.

She looks to the floor, her cheeks turning bright red.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"You can't tell me you're not hot. I can see you are, just take the coat off."

She rolls her eyes at me and stands, unbuttoning the coat.

"Fine, but don't laugh!"

"Why would I…." She pulls open the coat, my mouth drops open and I swallow hard. The last thing I'm thinking about is laughing. The small nurse's outfit stretches tightly over her body, the red top cutting so low against her breasts that I swear I can see the top of her nipple peaking out. The white skirt barley covers her, the hem resting at the very top of her thighs. Her stomach is exposed and her tanned skin is glistening in the light. Her stethoscope hangs from her neck. "….laugh?" The last part comes out a little breathlessly, I hope she doesn't notice.

"Do you have a shirt and maybe a pair of sweat pants I could borrow?" I'm sure she must've just asked me for something but I am still lost in my fantasy about naughty nurse Izzie to answer. "Alex?"

"Uh…yeah sorry." I walk to the small dresser and find her a t-shirt and a pair of drawstring pants, grabbing myself a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

"Here, you can change out here. I'll just be in there." I hand her the clothes and cross the floor to the bathroom.

"Thank you." I hear her say before I close the door behind me.

I undo the towel from my waist, freeing my erection. I turn the cold water of the shower on and step in until my raging hard on goes away. I wipe the water from my body and get dressed.

She is again sitting on the edge of bed as I walk into the room.

"Sorry about the cold shower." Shit, she heard the water running.

"It's okay." I say a little embarrassed.

I sit down on the bed, trying to keep my distance.

"Do you want to tell me what happened with Kelly?"

"No, there's not really much to tell. I do want to tell you about something else."

"What is it?"

"I quit my job today."

"Why?"

"I went by the hospital and spoke to Shepard; he offered me a job here at Seattle Grace."

Her face lit up instantly.

"And your going to take it?" she asks me anxiously.

"Yes, I took it. I'm moving back to Seattle."

Before I knew what was happening she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. The kiss was next, it was a simple kiss on the lips but it was enough to make us both jump apart quickly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

I interrupt her before she can finish.

"No, it's okay. " After a few minutes of awkward silence, I tried to lighten the mood. "Maybe you should put the naughty nurse's uniform back on; if we're going to sit in awkward silence at least I would have something sexy to look at." I smirk at her and she smiles as she whacks me in the arm.

"Jerk."

"If I knew you were going to be wearing that I would've let you come over hours ago."

"I was trying to surprise Mark."

"I don't suppose I could get a sponge bath? "

"Shut up! " Her laugh makes me smile and suddenly the tension is gone.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I ask.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

I flip through the channels and the only movie on is a low budget horror that I have seen a hundred times.

She moves to the head of the bed, scrunching a pillow up in her lap and leaning back on the other one. I stay where I am, not wanting to push anything but she pats the spot on the bed next to her.

"Can you please sit with me? I hate these movies."

Thinking it over I decide that I _can _control myself, I would have to. I sit next to her, staying above the covers and focusing on the really bad movie in front of us.

She squeals and hugs the pillow in her lap as the killer on the small screen claims his first victim. I have to laugh at this, she is a surgeon who cuts people open everyday yet a little blood and gore from this awful movie makes her squeal.

"What are you laughing at?" She asks me.

"Nothing." I smile.

I once again focus on the movie, my eyes are heavy and I am soon struggling to stay awake. I look over at her to find she is sleeping soundly, clutching the pillow in her arms. I reach down and grab the blanket at the end of the bed and pull it over her, she stirs lightly and I climb under the covers of the bed before drifting into a deep sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

-1Chapter 21

I feel the slight movement of the mattress. I lay on my side facing the wall; a hand runs down my chest reaching into the front of the shorts that I fell asleep in. Soft fingers wrap around my morning erection and it pulls me slowly from my slumber. I struggle to open my eyes; I am confused about where I am for a few seconds having dreamt vividly about being in my apartment back in Iowa. I gasp softly as the hand starts to pump at my shaft, making me completely aware of the situation. I turn slowly onto my back and she lets go for only a second to graze her fingers across my balls, then circle around the tip of my throbbing cock before returning to the shaft. I look at her and she is lying against me, eye's closed. She must be dreaming too, only her dreams are dirty ones that have caused her to reach out and touch me. I know I should wake her but I honestly can't think straight enough to form the appropriate words, as simple as they may be. I open my mouth to say her name as her eyes flutter open and widen in shock as she realizes what she is doing. She withdraws her hand immediately and sits up.

"Oh god I can't believe I did that…"

"It's not a big deal….I'm going to the bathroom." I get up and hurry to the bathroom, leaving her sitting on my bed.

After another cold shower I return to where I left her, only she is not there. Her coat is gone and my clothes that she wore to bed last night were laid at the foot of my bed. Quickly getting dressed I grabbed my key and rushed out into the hallway, hoping to catch her before she left. The elevator doors were closing as I approached, I stuck my hand inside and they opened revealing a very embarrassed Izzie Stevens. She gazed at the floor and blushed furiously as I stepped onto the elevator.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Yeah, I wanted to let you take care of that…" Her eyes wander to the front of my jeans. "…in private."

"Yeah well I didn't do _that _but the next girl I have sex with is going to have to thank you because I'm really going to give it to her good."

She inhales deeply and the exhale holds a small laugh.

"I'm such an awful person." She says.

"You're not an awful person."

"Are you kidding? If I keep this up you might die with the worst case of blue balls in history."

"There are worse ways to go." I smirk at her and she rolls her eyes. "Do you have any plans today?

"No, I have nothing to do. Mark and I were supposed to spend the day together, but he left this morning for LA. What about you? Big plans?"

"Yeah, I'm hanging out with you." I say.

"Really, okay. What should we do?"

"Car shopping."

"Don't you have a car?" She asks me.

"Yes, but it's old. Not to mention it's in Iowa."

"How are you going to get it here?"

"I'm not; I gave it to a friend of mine. I called last night and gave him my apartment too. He is going to ship the rest of my stuff here next week."

"Well then I guess we should go get you a car."

_**I know it's short but I hope I made up for it with the smutty start! I promise I will try to make the next one longer!**_


	22. Chapter 22

-1Chapter 22

I pulled out of the dealership in my new Jeep with Izzie following close behind. We drop her car off and I have another project for us. I pull in front of the old building and park.

"Is this it?" She asks me.

"Yeah, this is the right place. It's not exactly what I was expecting though."

"It looks like a dump Alex, this is stupid. Why don't you just take my room at Meredith's?"

"If I can't find anything else I will. There is a couple more on my list."

"Do you want to see something?"

"What?"

"Just pull out and I will show you where to go."

"Okay." I pull out and she guides me down each street until finally she tells me to pull over in front of a house on a dead end street. "Where are we?"

"My house."

She gets out of the Jeep; I open my door and get out following her up to the lawn. A realty sign is stuck into the grass.

"Did you buy a house?" I ask her.

"No, but I would buy this one if I was going to."

"It's nice."

"Mark wants us to stay at the hotel for a few years before considering buying a house."

"Did you show him this house?"

"Yeah, he said it's too big for just the two of us."

"Oh." I always expected Izzie to get married with dreams of filling a house with kids and I suddenly realize that's exactly what she wants but it seems that she and Sloan have different ideas on the subject.

"Oh, hi. Are you the Johnson's?" A woman asked us as she climbed down the steps of Izzie's dream house.

"No, we're not but we would love to see the house if you have time?" I say, Izzie looks at me strangely.

"Why not, the Johnson's were supposed to be here over an hour ago, I might as well show it to someone. Come on in. I'm Karen Foster."

"Alex Karev."

"What line of work are you in Mr. Karev?"

"I'm a surgeon."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't catch your wife's name."

"Oh, she's not…" I start to explain but I am quickly interrupted.

"We're not married yet…this Saturday is the big day. My name is Izzie."

"Well Izzie aren't you a lucky girl to be getting married to a handsome surgeon. What do you do?"

"I'm also a surgeon."

"Wow, that's very impressive."

"Thanks."

"Well, I've got to make a few calls to my office, feel free to look around."

She whispers something to Izzie that makes her smile before going out on the porch.

"What did she say to you?" I ask.

"She said there was a great room upstairs for a nursery."

"Oh, well then we better go take a look, god knows I'm going to try my hardest to get you pregnant on our honeymoon."

Her wide grin makes my heart leap into my throat. We climb the staircase and enter the room the realtor was talking about. I must admit, I know absolutely nothing about nurseries but the room is nice and bright. After seeing the other two rooms and the upstairs bathroom we go back downstairs and enter the big kitchen. Izzie's face lights up as she looks it over.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it; I just wish it was mine."

The realtor hurries back into the house, finding Izzie dreaming of baking cookies and me staring at her like a love struck fool.

"I'm sorry to hurry you but I've got someone interested in another property, I've got to go meet with them right now."

"No problem, thanks for letting us look." I say.

"Here is my card; if you have any questions don't hesitate to call Dr. Karev."

"Thanks." I take the card and Izzie and I get back into the Jeep.

"Do you want to check out the rest of the apartments?" She asks me.

"You know, you're right I should just take your room."

"Then it's settled."

I see her look back one last time as we pull away from the house.


	23. Chapter 23

-1Chapter 23

I dropped Izzie off at Meredith's and drove back to the hotel. Once in my room I sat on the bed, pulling the tiny card out of my wallet. I flipped my phone open and dialed the number written in bold letters on the bottom. It went right to voice mail.

"Hi, you've reached Karen Foster's voice mail. Please leave your name and number and I will call you back as soon as I can….have a great day!"

Beep.

"This is Alex Karev, you just showed me a house and I would like to put an offer on it. Please give me a call as soon as you can."

I rattled off my phone number and hung up. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but I was going to do it anyway.

Twenty minutes later I felt the vibration of the phone against my leg. Fishing it out of my pocket I flipped it open quickly.

"Hello."

"Dr. Karev?"

"Yes."

"It's Karen Foster; I just got your message."

"Have you had any offers on the house yet?"

"No, you're the first."

"Great, I'll pay full asking price."

"Really? No bargaining?"

"No, I really want the house."

"Let me guess, it's going to be a wedding gift for your beautiful bride?"

"Yeah, you could say that I guess."

"Okay well would you like to contact your bank and…."

"I can pay cash if you like."

"Cash? I'm sorry did I hear that right? You do realize the house is four hundred and fifty thousand dollars"

"Yes I do, I could write you a check if you would be more comfortable."

"Well let me just make a quick phone call to the owner and I will call you right back."

"If they accept my offer, when will it be ready to move in to?"

"I expect you would be able to move in by Friday, _when_ they accept the offer."

"That will be perfect; I look forward to hearing from you."

I snap the phone closed and await the phone call that will undoubtedly change my life.


	24. Chapter 24

-1Chapter 24

That night I sat on my favorite bar stool, listening to Joe tell me what a complete moron I was for letting Izzie go. Okay maybe that's not exactly what he's saying but every so often he gives me a funny look when I bring up Izzie and he lets a comment slip here and there.

"Karev? I heard you were back, it's good to see you."

"Chief, it's good to see you too." I shake his hand, he's the closest thing I've ever had to a father figure and it's good to see him.

"Call me Richard, I'm retired remember? Derek told me you were coming back to Seattle."

"I am."

"Couldn't stay away from the ferry boats?"

"Something like that. What are you doing here?"

"Oh I'm here to have a drink with Derek, well he's having a drink I'm having a soda."

"So where is he?" I don't see Shepard anywhere.

"He stepped out, Meredith called. It's a little too loud in here I guess."

"Would you like to sit?"

"Uh, sure…as long as you don't mind." I nod my head and he sits on the empty stool next to me. "So where is she?"

"Who?"

"Your girlfriend, I heard you brought one with you."

"Yeah well she's gone. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you ever wish you could go back and do things over?"

"That sounds like women trouble."

"I just wish I could go back and do things different; maybe I could have been a better man."

"Karev, ….Alex I've known you for a while and you've got to stop wasting time worrying about past mistakes because you can't change them. When I first met you I thought you were a real pain in the ass, you were cocky and arrogant and I honestly didn't think you were going to make it."

"Wow that makes me feel so much better."

"What I'm saying is that I was wrong. You _were_ a cocky arrogant pain in the ass, but you became an excellent doctor and I'm proud of you. You changed a lot and as far as being a better man, I think you _are_ a good man Alex….it just took you longer to get there."

"Thanks."

"Sorry, I guess there was some drunken mishap at Meredith's." Shepard sits on the last remaining stool and orders a drink from Joe.

"That's alright; Karev was just keeping me company."

"What was wrong at Meredith's?" I ask.

"Well their all drunk."

"Are they alright? You said there was a mishap?"

"Their fine, a little drunk and apparently horny. Meredith asked me to come over and strip for a room full of women. The stripper they hired never showed."

"Well uh.." _Richard_ is clearly uncomfortable.

"Are you gonna to do it?" I ask with a small laugh.

"Are you kidding? I don't think so, although Meredith assured me it was okay because it was for Izzie."

"Maybe you should do it, there's good money in stripping." I laugh a little harder.

"Maybe _you_ should do it, after all most of them have already seen _you_ naked." He smirks at me.

"Funny."

"I thought so."

"Well, I think I'm going to head home." Poor guy. "Adele is probably waiting for me."

He says his goodbyes and leaves Shepard and me sitting at the bar, trying to suppress our laughter at Richards's expense.

"Do you think he is going home to strip for his wife?" I ask.

"Either that or he's going to Meredith's to make a little side money." He says with a laugh.

"Thanks for the mental image." I say as I get a picture in my head of Richard Webber doing a striptease for the girls in the middle of Meredith's living room. Shaking off the image, I pull my wallet out and offer to pay Joe my bar tab.

"Calling it a night?" Joe asks me.

"Yeah, I've got something important to take care of in the morning."

I hand him more than enough money to cover the small tab I ran up tonight.

"Alex, this is too much money."

"Put the rest towards Shepard's tab." I shrug. "He's going to need it when he's dancing half naked in front of an angry mob of horny women later." I smirk.


	25. Chapter 25

-1Chapter 25

I woke up early the next morning, having to meet the realtor at nine. I contacted my bank yesterday and had them transfer my funds to the bank I used to use here. Everything was going smoothly; I was standing on the front porch of my new house with the keys in my hand. On my way here I stopped at a furniture store and purchased a bed that was being delivered later in the day. I had packed my stuff and checked out of the hotel that morning. Leaving my suitcases in the hall I locked up and headed to Meredith's to check on the girls.

I enter the house, in the living room there are blankets and pillows everywhere. Four sleeping women on the floor and one on the couch. It made me smile a little to see them all like this, hair wildly matted to their pillows, some were drooling and some were snoring. Empty bottles of Tequila and Whiskey were strewn all over the room, I also see long strips of toilet paper on the furniture for some reason, I'm not sure I want to know why.

Looking at the sleeping form on the couch made me want to crawl in next to her and hold her tightly against me while I listened to every breath. I wanted to smell her hair and kiss the skin of her bare shoulder. I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. Her eyes flutter open and she doesn't jump like I expect her to, she smiles like she knew I would be here, watching her sleep.

"What time is it?" Her voice is soft and sweet, barley above a whisper.

"Almost noon."

"How long have you been here?"

"Just a few minutes, I hope you don't mind."

"No I don't mind at all." She sits up slowly and rubs her hand across the back of her neck, her eyes close as she groans. "My neck is killing me; I should have just crawled to bed. This couch is so uncomfortable."

I take a few quiet steps toward the couch.

"Sit forward."

When she does what I ask I sit behind her, replacing her hands with my own I slowly work the muscles with my thumbs. She moans her approval a bit too loudly.

"_Shhh_. Don't wake them up." I whisper. She nods her head and I keep massaging her neck and shoulders until she feels relaxed against me.

"Oh god Alex, that felt amazing." She says in a soft voice.

"When I open my eyes you two better have your clothes on!" I hear Lexie giggle at Yang's comment. "How is it fair that we slept on the floor and she got the special treatment?"

"Well all you have to do is ask nicely Yang, take off your pants." I joke.

"You wish!" She snaps back at me as she throws her pillow, hitting me in the head. Laughter erupts throughout the room.

"Alex when did you get here?" Meredith asks me as she stands, tugging up on her loose fitting pajama pants.

"I came as soon as I heard you needed a male stripper." I wink at her.

"You talked to Derek?" She asks me with a hint of embarrassment.

"I saw him last night at Joe's, he told me you were so drunk you were willing to sacrifice his innocence so all your friends could see a naked man dancing around the living room. Did you ever find anyone to take it all off for ya?" I say with a wide smile.

"No, we did get George to come over but he wouldn't strip. He was so scared he locked himself in his old room." Yang says.

"Figures." I say

"Hey, that's my husband you're talking about." Olivia says as she wipes the sleep out of her eyes.

"I need coffee!" Meredith says as she leaves the room, the rest of them follow her in the kitchen leaving Izzie and I alone on the couch.

"Sorry you didn't get to see any naked men last night." I say. "You should've called me; I am always willing to give a private show." I raise my eyebrows and capture my rolled tongue between my teeth.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." She smiles, letting me know that we are still joking in a playful manner, like we always do. I wish I could tell you that I am not serious about what I said but in all honestly if she ever said she wanted to see me naked I would drop my pants faster than I ever had before. I know from past experience, when she says it she _means_ it.

"Are you still coming to the rehearsal tonight?" She asks.

"I will if you want me to."

"I would like that."

"Do you have any plans after?"

"No, not really."

"Good I want to show you something tonight." She lifts her eyebrow. "No, not that. Something bigger, something to put a smile on your face." I can tell by the look she is giving me, she is still taking this wrong. "Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter."

"Sorry. I guess I'm a little frustrated, _sexually_."

"It's okay, I completely understand." More than you know.

"I gotta go, but I'll see you tonight at the church."

"Okay, thanks for the massage."

"It was my pleasure."


	26. Chapter 26

-1Chapter 26

The church was warm and inviting with soft colors. I saw Richard Webber standing inside the building with a worried look on his face. I sprinted toward him wondering what was wrong.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"No, I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

I stepped to the side and pushed open the heavy wooden doors. At the front of the church I saw the back of Izzie's head, her soft curls bouncing as she shook her head. Meredith stood next to her with her hand placed on Izzie's shoulder. Lexie and Christina were sitting in the front pew, whispering softly to one another.

"I knew it! When he said he was leaving, I knew this would happen!"

"I'm sorry Izzie but Derek really wants to be here, he said he would come as soon as he was done in surgery."

"I know it's not Derek's fault, I'm really not mad at him Meredith. It's just how are we going to do this? I need a groom at my rehearsal; it's got to be a bad sign if I don't have a groom the night _before_ the wedding!"

I hear footsteps behind me, they are picking up speed and soon I see a flash of red hair fly by my shoulder.

"Izzie I'm sorry but George is stuck in surgery with Dr. Shepard, he doesn't think he will make it." Olivia tells her.

Izzie doesn't turn around, her head dropping down towards the floor. Meredith's eyes lock with mine and she smiles.

"Izzie, I think your groom just walked in."

Her big brown eyes widened with relief as she turned her head in my direction.

"Alex, I'm so glad you're here."

"I told you I would come."

"I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"I need you to be Mark."

"I'm sorry, _what_?"

"Derek was supposed to stand in for him at this rehearsal but he is stuck in surgery and George is with him."

"What about the chie….what about Richard? He's right outside."

"He's giving me away Alex. You're my last hope, please?"

They are all looking at me, I feel like I am under a microscope here.

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Thank you Alex, I really appreciate it."

"No problem Iz, so what do I do?"

"Come with me."

She leads me by the hand to an old man slumped on a chair off to the side, he is either sleeping or dead, it's hard to tell. Izzie places her hand on his shoulder and speaks to him, his eyes open and he looks around.

"We're ready to start now." She tells him.

"Oh, alright then."

He asks the girls to follow him and leads them out to the hallway In back where Richard is waiting. After a good ten minutes he returns to stand next to me. He places his hands together in front of him, he has got to be close to a hundred years old and I think I can smell the faint odor of alcohol. His eyes close for a moment and he bows his head.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Mary Ann Michelson…."

"Uh…excuse me."

His eyes pop open and he looks at me.

"Are you here for the Michelson funeral son?"

"Uh no, I'm here for the wedding rehearsal."

He takes a moment to process this and looks to the double wooden doors.

"Okay ladies you can start walking down the Isle!" He yells to the back of the room.

The doors slowly open and one by one they march down the Isle and take their places along the front. The doors open once more and I can't describe the feeling that comes over me as they walk arm in arm towards me. I can't remember if I have taken a breath or not, I don't really care. If I died with _this_ as the last thing I ever saw; even if it isn't real, I would die happy. It's a small glimpse of what it would be like to be getting married to her and it's the best feeling in the world.

"This is the part where I say…Who gives this woman away? And you take your daughter by the hand and say loudly, her mother and I do."

"Oh, Okay. Should I say it now?"

"Yes sir. Who gives this woman away?"

"I do."

"Great, now place her hand in his and take a seat." He slurs.

"Okay." He places her hand in mine and sits on the pew.

He explains the ceremony to us and then we start from the top.

"Okay are you kids ready?"

"Yeah." Izzie tells him.

"Okay repeat after me, I then say _your_ name." He says to me.

"I….wait do I use my name or his? I'm not the groom; I'm just a fill in."

"Do you know _your_ name?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know _her_ name?

"_What_? " This guy is definitely fucking drunk!

"Yes, he knows my name." Izzie says.

"Than use it, it's easier that way. Now start again…I…"

"I Alex Karev."

"Take you, and then say _her _name."

"Take you Isobel Stevens."

"To be my lawfully wedded wife."

"To be my lawfully wedded wife." I can't believe I have just said those words, out loud.

"I promise to be true to you in good times and bad."

"I promise to be true to you in good times and bad." I wish it was something I did in the beginning.

"In sickness in health."

"In sickness in health."

"I will love and honor you all the days of my life. "

"I will love and honor you _all_ the days of my life."

"Great and now you my dear. I… then say _your_ name."

"I Isobel Stevens.'

"Take you…Alex what ever his name was….."

"Take you Alex Karev."

"To be my lawfully wedded husband."

"To be my lawfully wedded husband."

Her eyes lock with mine and I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad."

"I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad."

"In sickness and in health."

"In sickness and in health."

"I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

"I will love and honor you _all_ the days of my life." The last part comes out shaky and I can tell she is on the verge of a tears. She sucks in a deep breath and exhales loudly, trying to control her emotions.

"I can't say the whole thing or you will be married tonight instead of tomorrow, screwing your friends and families out of the joys of a big wedding so I'm just gonna say…you may kiss the bride, so kiss already."

"I'm not really…" I start to protest.

"That's not…" She joins in.

"Kiss her!" The old man yells at us.

I step forward and take her in my arms, when our lips touch the rest of the world just seems to melt away. We aren't two ex lovers sharing a simple kiss; we are two people expressing every emotion in one perfect kiss. My hand rests on her hip and her's are on my shoulders. My tongue sweeps over her's and she moans lightly into my mouth. I lightly graze the side of her cheek with my fingers, our kiss becoming more hurried and desperate. I hear someone clearing their throat and I start to pull away, loosing all sense of time we must have been kissing for a good five minutes. As the heat of her mouth disappears I glance over her shoulder to the left, Meredith's arms are on her hips, her eyes are scrunched together and the scowl on her face is obvious. Just behind her Cristina is not affected by any of it, she could care less. Lexie smiles at me, she is happy. Olivia's mouth hangs open in shock.

"I…Uh…Yeah, I guess this ends the rehearsal. I'm sure we all will remember this…not _this_ as in the _kissing_ but….Well goodnight everyone." Richard stutters before walking away.

I look back at Izzie and she is standing there with her eyes still closed, her fingers touching her lips.

"Iz."

Her eyes snap open and she spins around taking two steps in the direction of Richard Webber.

"You're leaving?" She asks him.

Meredith strides toward me and grabs my arm, pulling me off to the side.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm helping…." I answer innocently.

"You aren't! You're both going to get hurt! I know I wanted you to help her but after seeing _that_ kiss, I _know_ you still have old feelings and she's getting married tomorrow!"

"I know that Meredith, don't you think I know that? It's painfully obvious."

"I'm sorry Alex I just care about you both."

"Mer, can I get a ride back to the house?" Lexie interrupts us and I feel like I should be giving her a big hug for saving my ass from what I'm sure would turn into a big lecture.

"Yeah, think about what I said Alex."

Meredith follows Lexie and I make my way to the hallway, Izzie is still talking to Richard.

"I want to thank you for doing this; it means so much to me."

"I told you Izzie, you don't have to thank me. I always thought of you kids as _my _kids. I'm glad you asked. Are you sure it won't be a problem with your family?"

"I never knew my father; he took off before I was born." She told him quietly while staring at the patterns of the carpeting on the floor.

"I'm sorry I didn't know."

"I don't tell a lot of people."

"Well I'm proud to do this for you…I'll see you here in the morning."

"Goodnight." She says to him before he exit's the church.

"Hey, are you ready to see what I want to show you?" I ask her.

"I'm ready."


	27. Chapter 27

-1Chapter 27

I knotted the silky materiel, pulling tightly to make sure she couldn't see her surroundings. I led her to my jeep and held open the door, taking her hand in mine; I help her inside and close the door behind her. Once I am in the driver's seat she lets a nervous laugh escape her lips.

"Alex where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, why do you think I'm blindfolding you?" She giggles and looks away. "What are you laughing at?" I ask her.

"I was just thinking about the last time you blindfolded me."

"Yeah well that was fun too but it's not _that_ kind of surprise."

"So what is it?"

"I'm not gonna tell you."

"Fine."

She is quiet the rest of the drive. I take the long way around, making a few unnecessary turns just in case she has been paying attention. I want her to be truly surprised.

"We're here." I tell her, she doesn't respond. "Iz?"

I hope she hasn't figured out where we are.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about things."

"Like what things?"

"Just nerves, it's nothing."

"Oh, okay. Do you want to see your surprise?"

"You know how much I love surprises."

"Yeah, I remember."

I get out of the car, telling her to wait for me to help her. I lead her up the steps and onto the porch. I push open the door after unlocking it and take her to the kitchen.

"Wait right here."

"Alex where are you going?"

"Don't worry I'm not leaving you, just stepping away for a second. Trust me."

"I do trust you."

On the counter I have placed a cake. I light one candle in the middle and step behind her to undo the knot on the blindfold. As I slip the blindfold down I whisper lightly in her ear.

"Happy Birthday Iz."

She gasps and covers her mouth with her hands. The lights are dim and the candle bathes the kitchen in a soft yellow glow.

"How did you…." Her eyes scan the kitchen and she realizes where I have taken her. "Alex, what did you do?"

"I bought it, for you."

"What?" She turns to face me, her mouth opens but nothing comes out at first. "I can't….It's too much."

"Iz, I wanted you to have this. It's your dream house. I understand that you feel awkward accepting it and that's fine. I knew you would feel that way, but I didn't want you to have to settle later for a house you didn't want. I'm going to live here Izzie and in a few years when you decide you want to buy a house, you won't have to because you can have this one."

"Alex it's a lot of money." She shakes her head.

"Izzie, I don't care about the money."

"Are you kidding?"

"No, I sold my mothers house after she died. I never wanted the place; it held too many bad memories. My sister wanted nothing to do with it so I sold it and put the money in the bank."

"Alex, I'm sorry I didn't know about your mother."

"It's been a while."

"You should do something else with that money."

"This is what I want to do with it."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll at least consider it."

I can tell she is struggling with the answer by the way she is biting at her lip and twisting her fingers together.

"I'll think about it."

"Good, now will you blow out the candle already before it's gone?"

I can feel butterflies in my stomach as she smiles at me and returns to the cake on the counter. Her eyes close and she leans in, pursing her lips together she blows out the candle leaving us standing closely in the darkness of the room.

"You're the only one who remembered." It comes out barley above a whisper, but I hear it.

"No one?" I ask her, I'm sure that someone else must've remembered her birthday.

"Not even Mark, I haven't heard from him since he left."

"He hasn't called you? Not even today?"

"No, I'm sure he's just busy….it _really_ is fine Alex."

"No, it's not fine Izzie. You deserve more."

She is silent and at first I think I might've pissed her off, and then I hear her sniffle.

"Thank you Alex." She is trying to cover up the fact that she is crying, I know her too well to fall for it. "I love the cake."

I reach to the far left, flipping on the light switch. I stare at the back of her head, waiting for her to look at me. She sighs deeply, her fingers brushing under her eyes to wipe the tears away. She turns slightly and I decide to drop it for now, I do believe that she deserves much more than Mark Sloan can give her but I just don't have it in me right now to continue this conversation.

"Do you want a piece of cake?" I ask her.

"Did you make it?"

"I did bake it, yes."

She smiles and picks the knife off the marble countertop, cutting a big slice and placing it on the paper plate.

"Do you have a fork?"

"I have one fork."

"Just one, how are you going to have any?"

"I'm not."

"I could _share_ my fork with you, for a price."

A huge grin breaks out across her face, I try not to smile back but I just can't hold it in when I'm around her.

"I just bought you a house, doesn't that count?"

"Nope. I don't want money."

"Sexual favors?" I ask with a wink and a smirk.

"No, I want you to take the first bite."

"I promise it's edible." I tell her.

"We'll see."

She stabs the corner of the fluffy concoction with the fork, then holds it out for me to taste. My mouth opens slightly as she places the first bite on my tongue. It's not bad, for a beginner. I have never made a cake before and I have to tell you how impressed I am with the turn out.

"How is it?" She asks me, I reply by scooping some frosting with my index finger and wiping it across her closed mouth.

"Try some." I smirk at her and her jaw drops.

"I can't believe you just did that."

She tips the plate up, the frosting covering me as she rubs it against my face. She drops the plate on the floor and I take a quick step towards her, she screams playfully and tries to get out of my reach. Too late I grab her waist, she backs against the wall and I pin my body against hers holding her there so I can wipe more frosting along her jaw line with my hand.

"Alex!" We are both laughing, she squirms against my body and I can feel my erection starting to grow. She can feel it too, I can tell because her body has stilled and she bites her lip. Our eyes lock together, inching closer with every breath.

The taste of the frosting on her lips is sweet and her tongue darts out, mixing with mine as we kiss. The palm of my hand cups her breast and she sucks in a deep breath. Her nipple is rock hard against my thumb, as it rubs the outside of her shirt. Holy fuck I can't think straight, I just want to be buried deep inside of her but it's something I can't allow to happen, not like this. Her warm fingers reach under my shirt, nails softly scraping against my skin. I pull back and take a full step away from her, breaking all contact.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"I ….I think I should go."

"Izzie, you don't have to…."

"I think I do, I'm getting married Alex."

I sigh; this is something that crushes me every time I hear it said out loud.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you getting married Izzie?"

"I…I….because." She stammers and it instantly annoys me that she doesn't have an answer to something so important.

"Seriously that's your answer?" My god shut up, you are fucking everything up! "I just don't understand how you can marry a guy like that. He doesn't even remember your birthday! You are just settling for someone that could obviously care less about you!"

She tries to walk away, she is almost at the door when I ask her one question too many.

"Why the _fuck_ are you going to marry him Izzie?" I yell.

She spins around quickly; her eyes are filled with tears.

"Because you left!" She yells it so loudly she startles herself.

"Iz?" Her eyes drop to the floor, she can't even look at me.

"Can you just take me home please, I want to go home."

I don't want to fight with her, I want to hold her but I know there is no chance of that now. I pushed too hard and she probably hates me for it. I pull the keys out of my pocket, promising to shut my big stupid mouth on the drive back to Meredith's. She doesn't speak or look at me once; her eyes are blankly staring out the window as I bring her home. As I pull into the driveway she opens the door, running to the house and slamming the passenger side door behind her without a word or a glance. I'm a fucking Idiot!


	28. Chapter 28

-1**Warning: This chapter contains very mature content.**

**Anything written in _Italic_ is a flashback of what happened the night before Alex leaves Seattle.**

**Sorry it took me so long to update, I normally try to update quickly but I have been sick with a bad head cold and have found it nearly impossible to concentrate enough to come up with a chapter! I woke up this morning feeling slightly better and by this afternoon I had half of this written, it didn't take long to finish after that! I hope you enjoy it! **

**Please let me know! **

**I love hearing from all of you!**

**Thanks!**

Chapter 28

I lie here on my new bed in my new house, thinking about my past mistakes and if I had just stayed, would it be different? Her words echoed through my mind over and over. I think about the time before I left Seattle. Six years ago, the words and actions were still so fresh in my mind.

The one night that I managed to screw things up yet again kept popping up in my head. It was the night that Chief Webber got remarried to his estranged wife Adele, well not remarried because they never did go through with a divorce. They renewed their vows in the very same church that Izzie will get married in tomorrow

_I sat in the pew by myself; I wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone that night. She slides in next to me, if it had been anyone but her I would've acted like a complete ass until they left me alone. _

"_Hey, can I sit with you?" Her hair was in a curly mass and the tanned skin above her bust line seemed to shimmer in the low light of the church._

"_Why?"_

"_Honestly? I don't want anyone to know I'm here alone."_

"_Can't get a date?" I asked her with a half smile._

"_No, I guess not."_

"_That's pathetic."_

"_God I know!" She laughs._

"_Don't worry we'll be pathetic together." I cover her hand with mine and squeeze lightly._

_We watch as Chief Webber paces nervously at the front of the church, Shepard stands next to him reassuring him things would be fine. In the second row Meredith sits with Cristina and her date. One more row back George and Lexie sit together chatting, they have been good friends since they became roommates. I look around the room, many faces I recognized from the hospital others I did not. I see the fiery red highlight of a soft wisp of hair falling from the pin at the top of her head, her eyes are cast down to the floor as she pulls a tissue from her small bag that is balanced on her lap. The man sitting next to her leans in and whispers in her ear, she smiles and raises her eyes. The man goes back to looking around the church but I notice she seems to be frozen, her lips part slightly and she offers a slight smile. I follow her line of vision until it rests on a man at the front of the church, his cocky smile is there for the world to see but no one seems to notice but them and me. He winks at her and mouths the words 'I want you.' She shifts uncomfortably in her seat and then looks in my direction. Her face turns a dark shade of red; she knows she's been caught. At what I don't know, I can only suspect. She looks away quickly and I turn my attention back to Izzie who looks at me with concern._

"_Alex, you aren't thinking about hooking up with her again?" Her head tilts forward slightly, her eyes more intense as she speaks again. "Are you?"_

"_What are you talking about?" I try to brush it off but she pushes further ahead._

"_I'm taking about Addison; it would be a big mistake Alex."_

"_Believe me Iz; I have no interest in her. Never did."_

"_Good because hooking up at a wedding is never a good idea, besides she looks happy."_

"_If she's so happy why does she keep looking at Sloan like she's about to fuck him senseless?" I ask her._

_The music starts and the doors open, Adele walks down the isle in a simple white dress, Izzie's grasp on my hand increases throughout the ceremony. I hear her sniffle; I pull a tissue from the pocket in the breast of my suit and hand it to her. She smiles as she takes the soft fluffy square from my hand. _

_Later on that night at the reception, I walk back from the bar with two drinks in my hand, a beer for me and wine for her. She was sitting at the table alone; her fingers ran over the crisp white place card that held her name. I never really noticed how sad she looked tonight until that moment. Soft music filled the room; couples took the dance floor and held onto each other as the ballad played on. I placed her glass on the table in front of her, my beer next to it._

"_Thanks Alex." She continued to stare at the card._

_I held out my hand to her, she looked up at me._

"_What are you…."_

"_May I have this dance?"_

_Her glowing smile melted my heart as she took my hand and stood, following me to the crowded dance floor. My arm wraps around her waist and I pull her in close, she smells wonderful. She drapes her arms over my shoulders and we start to move together. She scans the room with her eyes and I can only stare at her._

"_Adele is the most beautiful woman in the room tonight, don't you think?"_

"_I don't know, all I see is you." _

_Her eyes lock with mine and I feel her shiver. _

"_Can you get us a room?" She whispers in my ear._

_Twenty minutes later we are in the hallway of the Archfield Hotel, pressing each other against the walls as we make our way to room seventeen twenty five, kissing feverishly as we go. While our friends are downstairs enjoying the reception we are up here, about to enjoy each other. I press her against the wall, her long leg travels up against my side before settling it around my waist. I touch the smooth skin of her thigh reaching under her dress and cupping her ass. She gasps and I lift her off the ground carrying her a few steps to our room. We are still in the hallway and I don't care who sees us, all I care about is that I need her. I need this._

_We tumble into the room slamming the door behind us. Her fingers work over the buttons of my shirt. Her lips kiss my collarbone as she removes the shirt. I pull away for a moment and still her movements._

"_Iz, are you sure you want to…."_

"_Shut up Alex!"_

_She crashes her lips into mine and parts my lips with her tongue, whimpering as our tongues meet. She pulls at my belt, unhooking it and quickly finding the top button of my pants. I break away from the kiss as I slide the strap of her dress down over her shoulder; it drops effortlessly to her elbow. I reach for the zipper, sliding it down. The dress slips off of her easily. The rose colored peaks of her nipples are taut under my stare. I dip my head, capturing one then the other into my mouth sucking at the stiff buds one by one. _

"_Oh god, that feels good." She murmurs._

_I release her nipple and stare up at her. _

"_You're so beautiful."_

_Her hands cradle my face, her thumbs graze across the light stubble on my chin and she guides me back up to her lips. This time the kisses are slow and teasing. She tugs at my pants and they pool at my feet. Soft fingers slide into my boxers, my cock twitches as she tugs slowly along the shaft, twirling her hand as she reaches the tip. _

"_What was that about hooking up at weddings? I ask nearly out of breath._

_I trace the top of her panties with my finger, dipping it inside. She is wet and ready for me. I tease her clit, her eyelids fall shut and she bites her lip._

"_Hooking up at a wedding is a great idea." She pants._

"_That's what I thought you said." I smile._

_I withdraw my hand from her soaked panties and pull the silky scrap of materiel down over her hips, she steps out of them leaving her naked in front of me with the exception of her strappy shoes. _

_Dropping to her knees she rids me of my boxers and takes me fully into her mouth, sucking intensely. My fingers slide through the curls of her hair as she works me with her tongue. I've got to stop her or I will be done sooner than we both want._

"_That feels amazing. Iz, you really gotta stop….before I…"_

_She smiles as she lets me slip out of her mouth. _

_I lead her to the bed; she rests comfortably on the mattress. I part her legs and seek out her clit. My tongue darts over the bunched up nerve for only a few seconds when she cries out in orgasm. I love hearing her like this; it's the hottest thing I've ever heard. I continue my assault on her most sensitive area; she rakes her fingertips across my shoulders. It stings for a few seconds and then she grasps the comforter, arches her back and screams out my name._

"_Alex! Oh sweet Jesus….I'm cumming again!" I smile against her as I lick until she comes down once again from this sexual high, her body is trembling now. _

_I roll her over on her stomach and enter her with a powerful thrust. Settling into a rhythm, I rock against her with even stokes. Her fists curl around the comforter and her knuckles turn white as she moans. I pull her hair to the side as I kiss the nape of her neck, bringing us both over the edge together. _

_I collapse against her, careful not to put all my weight on her. _

"_I love you Alex." Her words are soft and caring, and in that moment I panic. I've always loved her but it was safe to do so at a distance, she wasn't supposed to love me back._

_I pull out and rise off the bed, tripping on her shoes that have come off during our passionate exchange. I quickly find my boxers and pants, slipping them on in a hurry._

_She sits up and looks at me cautiously._

"_Alex, where are you going?"_

"_I need a little air."_

"_Are you coming back?" Her voice cracks. I don't answer. "What's wrong with you?"_

"_I never should've let this happen."_

"_Why? I don't understand." She stands._

"_This is why you shouldn't hook up at a wedding Izzie, you were right."_

"_Did I do something?"_

"_I'm leaving Seattle." I blurt it out and instantly wish I could take it back._

"_What? When?" She crosses the room, grabbing the white terry cloth robe from the bathroom and slips it over her naked body, pulling it together closely and tying a tight knot at the front. _

"_Tomorrow morning, I have a seven o'clock flight to Iowa." I tell her._

"_For how long?"_

"_I'm moving." I slip the sleeves of my shirt over my arms, buttoning the first couple of buttons._

"_Why didn't you tell me?" She asks._

"_You're not my girlfriend Izzie, why do you care?"_

"_I…." She searches for an answer, but I cut her off. Her eyes gloss over with tears as I start to spew forth probably the dumbest thing I've ever said in my life._

"_Exactly, you don't! I'm a jerk remember? You should be with someone like O'Malley, he's a good guy. I'm only good enough for a fuck when your lonely or freaked out and I can't hang around forever just to fuck you because George doesn't know how to do it right." I drape the tie loosely around my neck and reach for the door. I stepped into the hallway and she followed me._

"_So it meant nothing to you? Just a good fuck?" She yells._

"_It meant goodbye." I yell back as I pass Meredith, who has stopped in her tracks. The shock on her face is clearly written. _

_The last words I hear are._

"_I can't believe I ever loved you, you're the biggest ass I've ever met in my life!"_

I was an ass, I was scared and I ran. I moved back to Iowa to help my mother who had been diagnosed with inoperable cancer. I had gotten the call that morning and hadn't told anyone except Chief Webber. He made some calls and got me transferred to a hospital just a mile from my mother's home. I intended to come back to Seattle when things with my mother…well I just always planned to come back someday.

She held on for almost a full year. I met Kelly and never went back. Being with Kelly was easy, because she wasn't Izzie. It was safe and I had no real feelings invested, I just didn't care enough.

Izzie was 'the one' for me, I was sure of it. The one girl I would compare every other girl to, they never even came close. I knew that if I was to allow myself the pleasure of being with the girl I loved, I might hurt her in the end. After all, my father always said he loved my mother more than life, and look how that turned out. I couldn't let Izzie be a part of that, so I pushed her away again.

I rollover and look at my watch, it's nearly two in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep. I wonder if she will even want me there tomorrow. I force my eyes shut and try to will myself to sleep, it doesn't work. I groan. It will be a long and painful day tomorrow, especially with no sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

-1Chapter 29

I'm late. I overslept this morning. I'm not even sure I should be here. Not sure I can sit through this. The ceremony should be starting any moment if it isn't already underway. I quietly slip into the church, taking a seat in the back. It's ten past but nothing seems to be happening. Sloan is nowhere to be found and Shepard paces back and forth. The door opens, everyone turning to watch as Meredith hurries down the isle. I see her whisper in Shepard's ear, a scowl appearing on his face. They both walk back up the isle, smiling at the people as they go. Something's not right.

I get up slowly and follow them out into the hall. Shepard's shoulders seem tense as he rushes away.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Shepard keeps walking but Meredith stops and slowly turns toward me. Her worried eyes make my stomach churn.

"He's not here yet and she's freaking out." She twists her fingers in a nervous motion.

"Where is she?" I need to see her. I need to help in some way.

For a moment I'm not sure if she's going to tell me. She sighs, knowing that I will just follow her anyway.

"This way."

I follow her down the hall and into a room to the left. It's crowded, so crowded I can't see her in the mass of done up hair and satin dresses. Her bridesmaids are standing around and I hear the even toned voice of Derek Shepard trying to calm her down as she sobs. I linger towards the back of the room.

"Izzie, it's okay. He'll be here." The calming of his voice does no good as she sobs harder.

"Where is he Derek? He promised me he would be here."

"I…I don't know Izzie." Shepard looks toward Meredith, probably wanting to kill Sloan almost as much as I do.

"Izzie, I'm sure it's nothing…" Meredith tries to help with her reassuring words, but it's all in vain.

"He's not coming." Her gut wrenching cries fill the tiny room and I can't take it. I step in between Cristina and Lexie getting my first clear view of her, sitting on a chair by the window in her wedding dress. Her eyes are swollen and the surrounding area is blotchy where she has been wiping furiously at her salty tears. Tendrils of soft hair bounce around her face as she convulses. I don't know how I can help but I need to try, I hate it when she cries.

"Iz…." I say as Shepard moves from his kneeled position on the floor in front of her, his hand slips off of hers as mine replaces it. "Iz, look at me. He will be here, because he'd be crazy to throw this away. He'd spend the rest of his life regretting that one moment when he let you go." I'm not really sure if I'm talking about him or me.

Her body relaxes and her sobs subside, replaced by small sniffles. Her warm brown eyes connect with mine. She inhales deeply and her eyes flutter closed as I wipe the tear rolling down her cheek.

"Izzie, we're going to go check on things." Meredith says warmly.

"We are?" Cristina annoyed with having to miss out on anything that might happen between us, huffs as she turns on her heel exiting the room reluctantly.

"We are!" Meredith says in a harsher tone as she practically pushes Christina into the hallway.

When they are gone I stand and help Izzie to her feet.

"Come here." I lead her by the hand to the full length mirror that hung on the wall behind us. I move her in front of her reflection, standing behind her with my chin resting on her shoulder. Fresh tears swell in her eyes when she gets a look at her appearance.

"Oh god look at my face, I look awful." She raises her fingers to touch her cheek.

"You're beautiful." I reach out, catching her hand as it rises. I pull it slowly back down to rest at her side. I held on tightly and stoked the inside of her wrist with my thumb.

"Alex…"

"Iz, I'm sorry. " I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry I was _so_ incredibly stupid. I should've told you…."

"Told me what?"

"How I feel."

I hear her breath hitch as she spins in my arms until we are eye to eye, mere inches between us.

"How _do_ you feel?" She is just as anxious to hear it as I am to say it.

I'm ready to tell her why; I'm ready to tell her everything. There is a knock at the door and Meredith pokes her head in.

"Izzie. Mark is here. Come on we have to go. "Izzie doesn't move at first. "Izzie!" Meredith hisses.

Before I can utter a word she is gone.


	30. Chapter 30

-1Chapter 30

I sat outside on the granite steps breathing in the cold air of the morning. The only girl I will ever love is walking down the isle right now and I need a moment to process this.

Her heels click on the cement as she saunters along the walkway. Her red hair tightly pulled to the back of her head made her look cold and unfeeling, much different from the woman I once knew.

"What are you doing out here?" She asks me.

"Doesn't it bother you?" It must because it sure as hell bothers me, it makes me feel ill.

"What? Watching him marry her?" Her fingers travel up the lapel of my suit.

"Yeah." I shrug her off, her hands finding her hips.

"No, not really."

"Are you having sex with him?" I ask.

"Are you having sex with her?" She counters my question with a question of her own.

_No_, I'm in love with her.

"No." I hold back the whole answer

She smirks and brushes past me on her way into the church, never answering my question. She doesn't have to; I know in my heart that I am right.

The shaky voice of the old man echoed throughout the room. I stood near the door, ready to turn and run in the opposite direction.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today…." I thought I could do this but seeing her there at the front of the church holding his hand, about to become his wife….I've got to get outta here, now. "To join this man and this woman in…" I turn, reaching for the door.

"Wait!" Her voice is loud, desperate. It's the one thing that stops me in my tracks, my hand still against the door. I'm not sure if I am imagining it or not.

The old man shakes his head in annoyance. "We haven't gotten to that part yet….If there is anyone here who…."

"How do you feel?" She asks. A low murmur spread through the room, confusion as to what was going on run rampant among the guests.

"I'm in love with you." I say, turning to see all the shocked faces staring back at me. "I've never said that to anyone before. I'm in love with you Izzie Stevens and I'll probably be in love with you for the rest of my life." Sloan scowls at me and clenches his fists at his sides. "I feel lost when I'm not with you!" I continue. I'm not going to hold anything back this time. "I want to have a family with you, little girls with your beautiful brown eyes and little boys that will know their father loves their mother enough to treat her with respect. I want you to feel loved everyday, not just once in a while."

"Izzie, we're getting married here." If I was paying attention I would see his shoulders tensing as I make my declaration.

"I want the first smile I see in the morning to be yours, because when I see it I can't help but smile myself. You're the best thing in my life Izzie; please tell me you feel the same."

"Karev I should kick your ass!" Mark Sloan shouts and takes a step in my direction. He stops when Izzie grabs his shoulder.

"Mark please don't." She steps into the isle in front of him, facing me and sighs. "I want all those things, I do…. but I'm scared."

"I promise you Iz, I won't hurt you again. If you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, you'll walk down this isle to me and if you don't……if you don't, I'll walk away. I just want you to be happy."

She looks back at Sloan. My heart drops as she kisses him on the cheek. Her eyes search out to mine and I hear the words I was so scared to hear.

"I'm sorry …" Defeated, I turn and hang my head as I prepare myself to walk away. I sigh. "I can't marry you Mark." I freeze. "Alex, I'm in love with you too!" Relief washes over me as I turn to see her hurrying towards me with a huge smile on her face. She leaps into my arms and I hold her tight, fearing she will change her mind at the last minute. Our lips touch, she murmurs into my mouth as I deepen the kiss.

"Are you seriously going to throw this away? For him? I would give you everything, Izzie please?"

She breaks the kiss. "I've been in love with him for a long time Mark….even before you and I……It wouldn't be fair to either of us to get married. "

"I love you." It was a weak attempt, but I expected him to do this on some level.

"I care about you Mark and I'm sorry, someday you will find someone that will love you the way I love him. To be honest…I think you know we shouldn't be together." His eyes dart to the redhead sitting in the middle of the church as he inhales deeply.

"I know. I wouldn't be sleeping with Addison if I really thought this would work." Sloan's jaw clenches and his eyes drop to the floor.

"Oh god you didn't!" Derek says rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, I did." Sloan admits to his friend as he shrugs his shoulders.

I feel her warm breath against my ear as she whispers. "Let's go home."

I smile and lead her by the hand out of the church. Once we are outside she pulls me close to her, I can see the dirty in her eyes and I am anxious to get her alone.

"I can't wait to get you out of that dress." I slide my fingers to the curve of her ass, squeezing gently. Her eyes widen and she bites her lip.

"Where are you parked?" Her fingers search my pocket for the keys. It excites me to know that she wants me so much.

"Do you really want to have sex in a church parking lot? Cause as much as I want you, I don't want to rush it. I intend to enjoy every inch of your body and that's not easy to do in a parked car." I wiggle my brows and smile at her, knowing this sends shivers through her body.

"I don't know how much longer I can wait Alex." Her body rubs against mine and I can feel my cock twitching, a massive erection starting to form.

"Our house isn't that far away, I can get us there in five minutes." I say before kissing her neck. I know it drives her wild and I can't help but lightly suck on the sweet skin of her shoulder next as a soft moan escapes her lips.

"_Our house_. That sounds so…." She says a little breathless. I look into her eyes and offer a smile.

"Perfect?" I ask her.

"Yes, perfect."


	31. Chapter 31

-1Chapter 31

Reaching our house, we practically ran to the front door, I fumble with the keys and once I unlock the door Izzie grasps the handle, beyond ready to enter. My hand covers hers and I am about to do the cheesiest thing ever, but I don't care I would do anything for her.

"What's wrong Alex?"

"Nothing, I just want to….I think I should….." I quickly lift her off her feet.

"What are you doing?" She laughs.

"Carrying you over the threshold, what does it look like?"

"But we didn't get married."

"So? You're already wearing a wedding dress. It feels right, don't you think?"

"Yeah it does."

"I love you Izzie."

"I love you too but Alex, hurry up because I'm so incredibly horny."

I swung the door open, I'm not even sure we closed it all the way before I placed her back on her feet and we started stripping clothes off of each other. My shirt and tie were the first to go. I unzipped her dress and let it fall to her feet. Her bra hugged her breasts tightly. She reached to the back, unhooking it and dropping it next to the silky white satin dress. Kicking them both aside she stood before me in only a small scrap of silk panties,

Her fingers tug at my belt first then the button of my pants. As soon as the zipper is down she slides her slender fingers inside my pants, wrapping them around my cock. She reluctantly withdraws her hand as I hook my fingers in the sides of her panties to remove them.

Her lower lip trembles as I part her folds with my fingers, searching out her clit. "Oh please Alex, I need you now!" She bites her lip as I slide one, then two fingers inside. I bring her to orgasm almost immediately as my thumb flicks over her engorged nerve, her screams echo around the unfurnished room.

I quickly push down my boxers and kick them off with my feet.

"Lets go upstairs." I suggest, I'm anxious to have her but I don't want to fuck her against the wall the first time we have sex as a couple. Not that I'm opposed to fucking against a wall, maybe we can do that the second time.

I lay down on the bed and she straddles me, I place the tip of my cock at her entrance. She slowly sinks down, enveloping me in her warmth. Her fingers grip the headboard as she teases me by rising up until I am almost completely out, suddenly she crashes back down and I am filling her again. I tilt my head up and suck her nipple into my mouth causing her to cry out in pleasure. Once I let her nipple slip from my mouth she rocks against me harder. I roll my hips up to meet hers.

Without warning I roll us over and increase the speed of my thrusting. I feel her tighten around me. "Oh god, that feels so good. Please don't stop…" The last part comes out high pitched as she tightens her legs around my waist pulling me further inside. Her hands grip the blankets as she cries out and I feel an intense relief crash over me as I cum harder than I ever have before. I kiss her shoulder and collapse on the bed beside her. I pull her into my arms, her head rests on my chest and I hear her laughing.

"What's so funny?" I ask

"I'm just thanking myself." She laughs again

"Why?" Her warm brown eyes connect with mine as she tips her head back to look at me.

"You said that the next woman you were with would have to thank me because you were going to give it to her good, so I'm thanking myself." I had forgotten about the conversation we had in the elevator of the Archfield.

"Yeah, well I'm not done yet. Just taking a small break." I kiss the top of her head. "Are you hungry?"

"A little." She shrugs.

"Do you want to order a pizza or something?" I'm starving; I haven't had anything to eat all day.

"Why don't I go to the store and pick up some stuff." She climbs off the bed and opens the suitcase that is on the floor.

"I don't want you to go, I want to order in and we can stay in bed until it gets here." I've spent too much time without her and I'm not ready to let go just yet.

"It won't take long. Alex this isn't yours is it?" She holds a pink sundress up.

"Fuck!" It isn't mine. "It's Kelly's; she must've grabbed the wrong bag. There is another suitcase over there, that one is mine. I'll have to call her and let her know I have it. I'll ship it to her…." I rise off the bed to see Izzie kneeling on the floor in front of the suitcase; her eyes are filled with tears, one hand covering her mouth and the other holding a tiny white stick. "What's that?"

She holds it up so I can see. "It's a pregnancy test." I can feel the color draining from my face and my lips suddenly feel parched. My heart beats fast in my chest and I can't breathe. "It's positive Alex."


	32. Chapter 32

-1Chapter 32

I sit against the wall, my knees pulled up against my chest and my elbows resting on my knees. I hold my head in my hands as I think about just how fucked up this is. Izzie has been locked in the bathroom for an hour, I can hear her crying and I don't know what to do to fix this.

I pick up the phone and dial her number. I need some answers. Answers I'm not going to get, her voicemail picks up. "Kelly, its Alex. I think we need to talk. Call me as soon as you get this." I close the phone without saying goodbye.

Pushing myself off the floor I return once more to the bathroom door and softly knock. "Iz, please come out. I'm so sorry, I didn't know." I hear her moving around. "Izzie please….I love you." I hear the snap of the lock and the door slowly creeps open. Her eyes are puffy and my heart sinks.

"This can't be happening to us…we waited so long and now…" A tear rolls down her cheek; I reach out and brush it away with my thumb.

"Iz, I promise you everything's going to be okay." She takes a few steps towards me, laying her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around me.

"I think I'm going to take a hot shower. Can you order some food?" She asks me.

"Sure, pizza or Chinese?" I ask as I open my phone.

"Whatever you want." She backs away into the bathroom.

I dial the number to one of my favorite Chinese restaurants and order our food, asking them to not deliver it for another hour.

I step into the bathroom and open the glass shower door, steam pours out and I step in. The hot stream of water sprays against her skin and pours down over her naked body. I reach out and grab her hips pulling her against me. I snake my arm around her, placing my flattened hand between her breasts and sliding it down over her tight stomach. My lips touch her shoulder and I taste the warm water on her skin. She whimpers as my hand reaches the soft curls of her sex, my finger brushing past and entering her wet core.

"Alex." Her head rolls back to rest on my shoulder.

She grips my arms, her nails digging into my skin. Her back arches a little more and she bucks against my hand, crying out her release.

Our lips meet as she turns to me. I guide her towards the shower wall, lightly pressing her back against it as I lift her. Her legs wrap tightly around my waist and the tip of my cock teases her entrance. I enter slowly and she nips at my bottom lip. It feels incredible and I plunge deep inside, filling her completely. Her silky warmth milking my cock brings me over the edge as she has another orgasm. I hold her trembling body against the wall for a moment before setting her back down and sliding out of her.

She steps back into the spray of the water and wets her hair once again. I grab the shampoo bottle and squirt some in the palm of my hand. I reach out and scrub her hair, she tips her head back to rinse it out and I smile at her as I kiss her chin.

She laughs as I move my lips to her breasts, softly sucking her nipple into my mouth. "If you keep that up we'll never get clean."

"I can live with that."


	33. Chapter 33

-1Chapter 33

I wrap the towel tightly around my waist, grabbing my wallet before rushing to answer the door. A teenage boy stood on the other side with a few bags in his hand. He looked at me strangely as I asked him how much.

"Uh…its twenty one fifty seven." He shifted uncomfortably as I opened my wallet and retrieved the crisp bills.

"There's thirty." He took the money from my hand and his eyes grew wide as Izzie came to the door behind me.

"Ohh… great I'm starving." She reached out and grabbed the bags from him and walked back towards the kitchen. My eyes followed her as she walked away. She looked so sexy; her hair was wet and sticking to her skin. She wore my white button up shirt with just enough buttons undone so I got a good look at her cleavage. The shirt hung just below her ass, I was pretty sure it was all she had on.

I smile at her retreating form and turn my attention back to the delivery boy standing on my front porch. His mouth hung open as he strained to see her through the archway that led to our kitchen.

"Keep the change." I say.

"Man, she is hot. I bet she's a great fu…"

"Dude! That's my girlfriend."

"Sorry….I uh…Do you think you could give her my number?" I slammed the door in his face and hurried to the kitchen.

"The food smells good." I say.

"We should talk about what we're going to do if she's pregnant." Izzie picks at the rice with her chop sticks, offering me a bite.

"I can't even get her on the phone, she won't answer. It just goes to voice mail and I've left about a thousand messages for her to call me." She places the rice in my mouth and sets the container down on the counter.

"I want you to be a part of that baby's life. It's not fair for a baby to grow up without a father." She feels strongly about this, I suppose since her own father was never there.

"I'm not even sure there is a baby yet."

"What makes you think that there might not be a baby?"

"She hasn't exactly been honest about birth control before." As a matter of fact she was deceitful and cruel, an innocent baby deserves more. I should've left her as soon as I found out what she was trying to do.

"Oh." Her eyes drop to the floor.

"Two years ago I found out that she stopped taking her birth control pill."

"How did you find that out?"

"Her sister was drunk and told me." Her eyes widen, I'm sure that's the same look I gave her sister when I found out.

"Wow." She shakes her head.

"Yeah, so I confronted her about it and she said it was no big deal because I always wear a condom and then the next day I caught her poking holes in them."

"Oh my god, Alex I'm on the pill I promise."

"I know and I trust you. The thing is that I love you so much that if you did get pregnant, I wouldn't be upset. I'd be happy and I know you wouldn't lie to me." As soon as I say it she looks away, like she is hiding something.

"I think I need to tell you something." Her voice is shaky and unsure.

"Iz, I already know. You've had a baby." Her eyes dart to mine and her mouth opens to say something but she can't seem to get it out. I kiss her cheek and she smiles at me.

"How did you…."

"You talk in your sleep." I wonder if she knew that. Did anyone ever tell her that when she is exhausted she will hold an entire conversation with you in her sleep?

"I wanted to tell you." She twists a napkin around her fingers until it is tattered and torn.

"You did, sort of."

"How long have you known?"

I shrug. I've know for a long time. "Since before Denny and after the bomb."

"You've known for that long?" I can tell she is running it through her mind, trying to remember if there was any indication that I knew. She won't remember anything; I never spoke of it to anyone. They were her secrets to tell not mine.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you say anything?" She asks.

"I figured that if you wanted to tell me you would, when you were ready." I explain.

"It doesn't bother you?" She wears a worried expression on her face as she asks.

"No." Okay here it comes, moment of truth. "Will it bother you if Kelly is pregnant?"

She is quiet, that's not a good sign. I'm starting to regret asking the question. "Yes, it will bother me Alex. I…I'm worried that I'm going to loose you if she is. I know it's selfish of me to feel this way, but I can't help it. I'm mad at her and even though I'm trying not to be I'm a little mad at you too."

"Iz…"

"But mostly, I'm mad at myself." This admission surprises me, I expected her to be mad at me and Kelly but why is she mad at herself? "I keep telling myself that it's going to be okay, you and I will survive this…..and then there is the little part of me that is screaming for me to run. Get out before I get hurt. I don't want to resent you Alex and I certainly don't want to resent an innocent child."

Another thought occurs to me, I hadn't thought of how she would feel watching Kelly and I raise a baby together when her baby is being raised by someone else. In that moment I feel a little selfish myself, I had only thought of how my life would change and not how those change would affect her. "Izzie, I wish I knew what to say to reassure you…..I wish I could tell you that you wouldn't feel that way, but I can't and I understand if you want to run….believe me I do. All I can do is tell you how much I love you and hope that you have enough faith that my love for you….our love for each other will be enough."

"I hope you're right." She says quietly.


	34. Chapter 34

-1Chapter 34

_Kelly's POV_

I knew he would call; he has left forty seven messages on my voice mail. I knew that once that bitch got married he would be calling me. As soon as I listened to the first message I started packing my bags. I called the hotel and learned that he checked out, so I called the hospital and talked to some stupid woman who gave me his home address after I explained that I was his sister and it was important that I find him right away. That's where I am right now, in a cab on my way to where he is living.

Looking out the window I can see the perfect houses with nicely kept lawns, all that's missing is the storybook white picket fence's. I'm wondering why we are driving this way. It's a dead end street. "Are we close?" I ask the cab driver.

"Yes just a few more minutes." This can't be right, unless there is a run down apartment building on the end of this street.

The cab slows to a stop in front of the biggest house on the street. It's beautiful. The concrete walkway leading to the front porch was flanked by rows of beautiful flowers and there was a jeep parked in the open garage.

I paid the cab driver and carried my bags to the front door, not entirely sure I was in the right place. I knock on the door, looking around at the other houses.

The door swings open and his smile falls, turning into a slight scowl. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you weren't happy to see me." I push my way past him into the foyer, dragging my bags behind.

He slams the door closed. "Why haven't you returned any of my calls?" His voice is even toned and cold. He is angry with me, impatient.

"I didn't want to waste time talking." Dropping my bags to the floor, I step forward and grab his face, covering his mouth with mine. He pushes me away and shakes his head.

"Unbelievable!" He yells.

"I don't understand what your problem is!" I scream. "I know you're still mad at me, I get that but I want you and you want me too or you wouldn't have called me!" I calm myself down before I blow it with him. "I missed you Alex."

He sighs. "I didn't call you because I want you back Kelly. I called because we need to talk about what we are going to do."

What the fuck is he talking about? "I don't know what you are talking about. I thought you wanted to work this out, why else would you call me and leave all those messages saying you wanted to talk?"

"I found the test and I want to know, is it true?" His eyes flash with anger, his jaw tightens as he fights to get the words out. "Are you pregnant?"

"Why are you asking me this?" I'm not sure where this is coming from, I'm not pregnant and I don't know exactly where he has gotten the Idea that I am until he opens the hall closet and pulls out a bag. He unzips it and shows me the contents, none of it's mine. "It's a bag of clothes." I cross my arms and watch as he digs around inside of the bag, searching for something. A silk scarf slips out, settling on the floor. I recognize it because I bought it last year for my sister, ungrateful little bitch never even thanked me.

"I found this inside." He pulls the little plastic stick out and holds it out for me to take. "It's positive. Why didn't you tell me?"

Then it all dawns on me, the bag is filled with my sister's clothes. She must've left it at my house the morning Alex and I left for Seattle. She had just gotten back from vacation with the prick she calls a boyfriend, she told me she got right off the plane and drove straight to my house to tell me something. I blew her off as usual and rushed out the door to meet Alex. I must have grabbed her bag by mistake. The fucking little bitch is pregnant! As mad at her as I am for getting knocked up by that loser, I might have to thank her for this. Alex thinks I'm pregnant, it's too perfect. "You broke up with me Alex. If I had told you I was pregnant you would've thought I was lying to get you back."

He winces as I explain. "How long have you known?"

"The night we went to dinner with your friends, I asked Mark to stop at a store so I could get some stuff to settle my stomach and I bought a pregnancy test. I wanted to surprise you after the wedding."

"Have you confirmed it with a doctor?" He asks.

"Yes, when I got home I made an appointment with my doctor." Now all I have to do is get pregnant, which shouldn't be hard to do. I've been off the pill for a long time and if he thinks I'm already pregnant there won't be any need to wear a condom. "Look I know it won't be easy but I know we can resolve things between us. I love you Alex and I love this baby. I want us to give it a loving family. You can move into my house and we can move past what went wrong with us." I reach out for him, he backs away.

"We can't get past the fact that I don't love you." He doesn't mean that, once we are married and have a baby he will learn to love me.

"We owe it to our baby to stay together. I'm not saying we should get married right away we could just live together for a while." Reasoning with Alex is not always easy to do, but over the years I have discovered that if I play the sweet damsel in distress he always gives in. That's the type of girl he has a thing for, that's not me. I'm strong willed and I always get what I want, because I will do whatever I can to get it. "Please Alex, I can't do this alone." A tear rolls down my cheek; I should've been a fucking actress. I start sobbing and the Oscar winning performance is awarded with his strong arms wrapping around me in comfort. I have him right where I want him.


	35. Chapter 35

-1Chapter 35

Alex's POV

My heart sunk as the room filled with her sobs. I know this isn't the best time to bring it up but I know I can't put it off. Izzie will be home soon. "Kelly, shhh….stop crying please. Look I need to tell you something."

Her crying stops and she lifts her head off my shoulder. "It can wait; I just need you to hold me Alex."

I try to gently push her away but she holds on to me tightly. "Kelly…."

The front door opens, Izzie walks in tossing her bag to the floor "Alex, I'm…." The huge grin that she wore as she bounced through the door suddenly disappeared and was replaced by a worried scowl. She glanced at us and took a nervous step back, like she thought she might be intruding on a moment. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was here. I'll go."

"Izzie wait." It's too late; she's already out the door.

"Let her go Alex, this is a personal matter. Besides she should be getting back to her husband."

This isn't going to go as well as I hoped, just by the tone of her voice I know she will not react well. "This is what I wanted to tell you, Izzie didn't get married. We are together."

The shocked look on her face pales in comparison with the shock I feel when she slaps me hard across the face. I expected tears and a lot of yelling. "You're with her?" Here comes the yelling.

"Yes." And the crying……

Izzie's POV

When I walked into the house this morning and saw him, his arms around her trying to comfort her. I freaked out a little, although I tried not to show it. I couldn't help but flash back to the day I walked in on him and Olivia. I know it isn't the same but my heart never quite healed from that. It was the first time I fell in love and it was the first time my heart was broken. I had to get out of there so I ran, that's where I am now, running. Well not really running…. more like walking.

I look at the houses on our street as I walk along the sidewalk. I wonder if the people that live inside of them love each other as much as Alex and I. Do they know what it's like to love someone to the very tip of your soul and not be able to be with them? I wish I didn't know how that felt.

Alex's POV

Kelly asked me to call her a cab so she could go check into a hotel. As the car pulled up to the curb I noticed Izzie's car still in the driveway. That means she is not far. After the cab pulled away I started my search, looking in the car first. She wasn't there. "Where are you?"

"Are you looking for a pretty blonde?" I spin around; an older woman is kneeled down in her garden digging a small hole in the dirt.

"Yes, did you see where she went?" I step on the grass and move to stand in front of our neighbor's house, hoping the woman will be able to tell me where to find Izzie.

"I saw her walk that way, is she alright?" The woman sets the trowel down beside her and pulls off the dirt covered gloves one by one.

"I don't know. I hope so." I feel stupid admitting to a complete stranger that I have no Idea how my girlfriend is feeling. "Thanks." I rush down the sidewalk in the same direction the woman told me to go.

Izzie's POV

I crossed the street and entered the small park. It was empty, the perfect place to be alone. I sat in a swing and pushed back with my feet. Letting go, I hoped to somehow bring back the innocent girl that swore she would never let some stupid boy make her crazy like her own mother had over the many men that she introduced to me as uncle fill in the blank.

The wind pushed my hair back and the smell of the metal chains combined with the gentle breeze of the summer day made me smile, thinking about all the time I spent in the tiny playground at the run down trailer park I grew up in. I close my eyes just as I used to do back then. It was my escape, a place to dream about the future. The only problem is that I would eventually have to open my eyes and face reality, just like when I was young. A rush of dizziness washes over me, motion sickness I suppose. I press my feet against the dirt below them to still the swing. My eyes open and my breath catches in my throat as I see him crossing the street. His eyes never leave mine as he enters the park. He offers me a weak smile and sits on the swing next to me. "What are you doing?"

I sigh, a small laugh escaping with it. "Trying to feel like a kid again."

"Oh Yeah, is it working?" He pushes the dirt below him around with his foot.

"No, not really." I focus on the movement of his feet. "Is Kelly….are you going to be a father?"

"Yeah." His fingers brush against my cheek. I am fighting back the tears as he lifts my chin. "I love you Iz, but if you run from the room every time Kelly is there…it's not going to work between us."

"I know. I'm sorry I ran. I promise, no more running." He smiles at me before our lips meet; the world melts away as his tongue parts my lips.

He pulls away from me and whispers against my ear. "Let's go home."


	36. Chapter 36

-1Chapter 36

Alex's POV

I just had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do, tell a woman that her baby wasn't going to make it….there was no hope of recovery. After leaving the room I went straight to the restroom and threw up. As a surgeon I've had lots of experience telling patient's family's that their loved ones were gone….but somehow today it hit me harder than it ever had before. I pushed open the door to the stall; he stood at the sink watching me as I washed my hands and sipped the water from the faucet. I knew he would ask me a million questions so I swished the luke warm water in my mouth for an extra minute, dreading the interrogation.

"You okay?" I'm shocked by the concern laced in his words.

I shrug, hoping he would drop it. "I'm fine….I had the chicken salad for lunch. It must've been bad." The look on his face tells me he isn't going to let it go that easy.

"I had the chicken salad too….and I'm not sick." I knew I should've said tuna.

"Alright look O'Malley, I don't want to talk about it." I exited the bathroom trying to escape but George being George couldn't leave things alone. He followed so close behind me if I stopped quickly he'd run into me. I slowed and spun around. "George!"

"I'm just…you know, if you wanna talk about it….." He started to ramble and I can't stand when he does it, so I cut him off mid sentence.

"Talk about what exactly?" I ask, curious as to what he has heard.

"Olivia told me there is this rumor about you…." He shifts around nervously, careful not to look me in the eyes.

"A rumor huh? Izzie didn't tell you anything?" I ask, slightly scared of his answer. George was Izzie's best friend and though I expected she told him everything already a part of me hoped she didn't.

He carefully studied my expression as he thought about the answer. "Izzie didn't tell me anything….Olivia overheard it at the nurse's station this morning. Is it true?" I sigh, knowing they will find out about my baby soon enough. "Did you and Izzie run off to Vegas and get married this weekend?"

Did I hear that right? He thinks Izzie and I eloped, they all do. I looked around and realized for the first time that a few of the nurses were staring at me and speaking in hushed voices, as a matter of fact it had been like that all day. I just thought it was because I declared my love for Izzie in front of a church full of people at her 'almost' wedding to Mark Sloan. It all made sense. "George I…"

"You're having second thoughts? Cause when I eloped with Callie….I puked too. Well it was actually not because of being married but ….look how well that turned out." Did I mention I hate the rambling?

"Izzie and I aren't married George and if we were I wouldn't be puking in the bathroom like a pussy. I'd be happy about it." More like ecstatic.

I turn and continue until I reach the steps. "Then why were you puking in the bathroom like a pussy?"

My shoulders tensed and I paused briefly, lowering my head. "Dude, I said I didn't wanna talk about it."

I left him standing there amongst the whispering nurses to find Izzie, I promised her I'd meet her and I'm anxious to see her reaction when I tell her everyone thinks we're married.


	37. Chapter 37

-1Chapter 37

Alex's POV

I had some time to kill, so I stopped and checked on a few patients on my way to meet Izzie. We both agreed to meet in the third floor on-call room at five for a little quickie, we were both off at five but neither of us would be able to wait until we got home. I still had twenty minutes left, so I went to the nurse's station to drop off a chart that I had made a change in. As I approached the desk I saw Mark Sloan, his shoulders were slumped over the desk as he snapped at the young nurse who flashed him a fake smile and an even more fake apology before hurrying off down the hallway.

I wasn't sure how to handle this; I knew it was going to be a sensitive Issue between us. I haven't seen him since that day in the church. It was the happiest day in my life; I can't really say the same for him, Addison apparently informed him that very night that she was reconciling with her husband and they were over. I almost feel bad for him. "Wonderful, more stupidity. Wipe that dumb look off your face Karev, maybe you can aspire to be smarter than the nurse's around here." Almost.

"As much as I enjoy your insults, and make no mistake I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible, I've got to go meet my girlfriend." I stressed the word girlfriend; it felt good to rub it in a little if he was going to be such an ass. His eyes follow my right hand as I set the chart down on the desk; probably searching for a wedding band since the rumors are spreading wildly amongst the nurse's that Izzie and I got married in Vegas. His mouth drops open like he wants to ask me if they are true, but stops himself almost immediately. "What are you looking at?" I ask, managing to make us both uncomfortable.

His eyes dart back to the paper he's been scribbling on, placing it on the pile in front of him and simply walking away without so much as a nasty comment or snide remark. It's a side of him rarely seen, speechless.

I glance at my watch and realize if I don't hurry I will be late. There are a few nurses in the hallway as I approach the room where most people get more sex than rest, the door is wide open and the room is empty. As I step inside I begin to get excited, I hadn't seen much of her all day and soon we would alone to explore, touch and taste each other. In anticipation of the incredible sex we're about to experience, I close the door and start to pull off my clothes. I harden instantly as I free myself from the last stitch of clothing.

However our date in the on-call room was delayed due to an emergency surgery. Imagine my surprise when George tumbled into the room to tell me that Izzie couldn't make it, the reddening of his cheeks and the widening of his eyes told me he when he agreed to deliver the message for Izzie he didn't expect to find me standing naked in the cramped space waiting for her at full attention. It was pretty embarrassing, especially when Cristina strolled by at that exact moment and saw us both in the room together, me with an erection the size of Mount Everest. "George you lucky boy!" I grab my scrub top off the top bunk and quickly hold it up against my waist, using it as a protective shield against the prying eyes of Cristina Yang. "I always knew 'the beast' was a reference to your penis…I'm impressed!"

"Will you two get out so I can get dressed?" George fumbles with the door as he roughly pulls it closed, I might find this amusing if I wasn't naked, dreading the rumors that would grace the halls of this hospital tomorrow. I know Yang well enough to tell you that she can't keep her mouth shut to save her own life, she'll tell Meredith and Meredith will tell Derek who will let it slip to Mark who will tell everyone because he hates me.

The corners of my mouth lift up into a smile as I laugh like a crazy person, realizing that I don't care what they say. I have Izzie and that's all I care about.


	38. Chapter 38

-1Kelly's POV

Seduction, it's something I'm fairly confident I'm good at. I always get what I want, and right now I want him. It's not that I can't have any other man; there is something about him that is irresistible. His cocky smile is what attracted me, and three of my best friends. We were out one night having a drink when I saw him walk in. His eyes seemed focused on the bar ahead of him, flashing a smile at the women checking him out as he walked by. My friend Laura noticed him too and made a comment about how she would like to take him home and screw him all night. I quietly listened as one by one they spilled some pretty involved fantasies about this stranger who I couldn't take my eyes off. I watched as he downed several drinks and kept pulling his cell phone out of his pocket like he was trying to decide whether or not to call someone; maybe for a ride home, I wasn't sure.

I knew that I would have to make my move before anyone else did, so I got up and left my friends sitting at the table, walked over to him and introduced myself as 'Kelly, the woman who would be giving him the best blowjob he'd ever had.' It seemed like only a few minutes later we were in my car and I was bobbing my head up and down as I took him into my mouth over and over. He said he enjoyed it but he wouldn't exactly say it was the best he'd ever had. It was a challenge, one that I was excited to tackle. The next morning I gave him my usual story, you know the one…innocent girl cut's loose and takes home hot guy, now she's unsure of her actions and feels incredibly guilty. It works every time. Soon we started dating and before I knew it five years had gone by. Five years is not something I am going to give up on that easy, which brings me to the reason for my visit to his house tonight.

His eyes wash over me as he pulls open the front door; he wasn't expecting me to be on the other side with fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. "Kelly, the baby….is the baby okay?" He ushers me inside, concern flashing in his eyes.

"Yes, the baby is fine Alex…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." It amazes me how well I lie, my sister couldn't tell a lie to save her life. When she was five I told her she was left on our doorstep as a baby, she cried for hours. I wasn't intentionally being mean to her, I was trying to toughen her up.

I wiped the tears off my face with my fingers, knowing he would pull me to him and wrap his arms around me. When he doesn't I assume Izzie is here. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Whiskey sour?" Shit, it slipped passed my lips before I could stop it. "Just kidding, water would be great."

"So I was thinking, when you're ready…we could talk about what we're gonna do. Formulate some kind of plan as to living arrangements and custody." We won't have to worry about any of that until I actually get pregnant.

"I know how important it is for you to stay here….so I got an apartment today. It's a one bedroom overlooking…well it doesn't really overlook anything, the neighborhood's not that great so I don't mind that it has no windows and the little Chinese man that lives across the hall said he loves kids and offered to baby sit…at least I think that's what he said, my Chinese is not that great." I'm quite sure this might drive him over the edge. He'll be begging me to stay here with him, at least until the baby is born.

"What's wrong with the hotel?" He asks me, a look of disbelief washes over him.

"Alex, you can't raise a baby in a hotel and it will take some time to sell my house. I can't afford to buy a second house, so an apartment will be fine." His jaw tightens; it only takes him a minute to give me what I want.

"You don't have to move into a crappy apartment Kelly; I have a place you can stay." Yes, I'm home. The first thing I'm going to do is paint the kitchen, something brighter….maybe a lime green. I'm so excited that he has asked me to stay here; I step close and wrap my arms around him. "Thank you Alex."

My lips cover his and he jumps slightly, pushing me away gently. "Kelly…." My hand covers my mouth and I look at him like I didn't mean for it to happen, I just hope he believes it.

"God Alex, I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to do that. I'm just so scared and lonely. I miss you." I reach out, not sure if he's going to move away and rub my fingers against the stubble on his face. He doesn't move so I inch closer until my lips are inches away from his. "I need you Alex, please? Just one last time…that's all I ask."

"I'm sorry Kelly, I can't…I won't do that to Izzie." I can't believe he's turning me down. My blood is boiling, I want to scream.

One last desperate attempt has me begging for him to fuck me. I even promise not to tell anyone, it will be our little secret. He shakes his head and tells me in no uncertain terms that he's not interested, that's when I realize I might have to go with plan B. After apologizing for giving in to my weakness for him, he smiles and says it's alright, he understands. I assure him when I move in I will do my best not to let it happen again, he sighs deeply and tells me I have misunderstood. He didn't ask me to move into his house, he thinks it would be a great Idea for me to move into Izzie's old room at Meredith's.

I can't tell him that's the last fucking place I want to live so I just smile and thank him. I even think I tell him what a great Idea I think it is, my head is about to explode in anger and I know I've got to get out of here before I let it out! I tell him I'm feeling tired and make one final apology before making my way to my rental car.

I drive across town, with nowhere to go. I sit at a red light going over plan B in my head when the car behind me starts honking, the light has turned green and the impatient driver lets me know it. I lower my foot to the accelerator, the bright lights behind me turn into the first parking lot, it's a bar. I quickly find a place to turn around; I could use that whiskey sour.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Kelly's POV

The place was dull, not someplace I would normally frequent but it would do. I plop down on the bar stool and wait for the bartender to take my drink order, out of the corner of my eye, I see a man staring at me. "What are you looking at?"

The corners of his mouth turn up; he's attractive in a boy next door kind of way. "Can I buy you a drink?" Poor guy doesn't know what he's gonna get with that drink.

I slide over to the stool next to him and smile at him seductively. "I would love that, thank you."

Carrying a couple of cases of beer, the bartender comes out of the back. He places them on a crate and turns toward the bar, his hands resting on his hips. "Danny, I told you I don't serve minors here. Go home before I call your mother."

Scowling, Danny hops off the stool. "You're such an asshole!" He stomps out like a little kid.

"Sorry about that, he's in here once a week. He and his mother live in the apartment building across the street. I hope he wasn't bothering you." This man was clueless to the fact I was trying to let the kid pick me up.

"No he wasn't bothering me; in fact you just ruined my life! So thanks!" I snapped. He looked shocked at first, I'm sure I must've sounded completely insane.

He moved to the bar and took out a glass. "Let me make it up to you, what do you want to drink? It's on the house." He offers me a half smile as he throws some ice cubes in the glass.

"It doesn't matter." I cradle my head in my hands, what the hell am I gonna do? I could fake a miscarriage but Alex was a doctor, he would know I was full of shit. I'm starting to think this was a stupid idea. "My life is over!"

"It can't be that bad, do you want to talk about it?" He grabs a bottle from underneath the bar and fills my glass halfway. A couple of splashes of juice complete the drink and he slides it over to me.

"Why the hell would I tell you anything?" I ask. This isn't something you just blab to a complete stranger. "Just because you're a bartender…" I sip the tart drink. "….and not a very good one, doesn't mean I am going to spill my problems to you. I don't think you could handle it if I did."

"Try me; I might even be able to help." I doubt he will want to help, what kind of guy would willingly want to help out a woman who wanted to trap her ex-boyfriend by getting pregnant with someone else's baby?

"I need to get pregnant, right away." I expect him to look horrified. He smiles and lets me continue; maybe he's a better bartender than I gave him credit for. "My ex-boyfriend thinks I'm pregnant with his baby."

"You're not?" He watches me take a big gulp from the extra strong drink he made for me, hoping my answer is no.

"Nope, I'm not pregnant…not yet anyway. He's back with his ex-girlfriend, the one he never got over and I want him back." I shrug my shoulders.

"So you told him you were pregnant? I down the rest of my drink before answering him.

"I didn't tell him anything; he assumed…it's a long story." I motioned for another drink, they didn't taste very good but I didn't care.

"So isn't he going to know when you don't start to show?" He works on putting together another drink for me as I explain my plan to him.

"That's why I need to get pregnant as soon as possible, I told him I wasn't very far along. That way he will just think I'm a little over due, it happens all the time. My best friend didn't give birth until she was a month and a full week over her due date." Sliding the new drink to me he leans forward, intrigued by my story.

"Is this guy stupid enough to fall for it?" I scowl as the bartender points out the biggest problem in my plan.

"That's the hardest part; he's a surgeon so I've got to be careful about what I let him know. I'm keeping him at a distance when it comes to the baby, he just thinks it's because of his girlfriend and our situation." The second drink goes down better than the first. Not because he has improved greatly with his bartending skills after one drink but because the strength of the alcohol in the first one has started to numb my senses a little. "So you see, you have scared off my only chance at getting fucked tonight, therefore you have ruined my life." I hold up my drink. "Cheers!"

He looks around the empty bar-room and sighs. "I'm sorry but do you really want to do this, kids are a big commitment."

"Do you have any kids?" I ask him, not really caring what the answer is. If he does he will more than likely try to talk me out of my crazy idea.

"I have a little girl, she's almost eight." His voice changes, sadness showing through as he talks about his daughter. It's been a while since he'd seen her. Her mother left him for another man along time ago, the worst part was knowing that it was all for nothing, they weren't even together anymore. His eyes drift down towards the bar.

"I'm sorry." Shifting the conversation back to my problem, I sigh. "I've got to do this…he's so in love with her, he says she's the only woman he's ever really loved. I invested five years of my life with him in hopes that one day I would become Mrs. Alex Karev and I'm not going to let her just take that away."

He lifts his eyes, shifting them to the girl behind me cleaning off tables. "Misty, I'm taking a break. Watch the bar for me." Misty nods her head as she snaps her gum. He holds out his hand for me to take as he walks around the bar. "Come on."

"Where?" I'm not sure if he is going to walk me to the door and throw me out or what.

"It's okay…come on." I take his hand, still unsure about what is going to happen. He leads me through a door at the side of the building into a quiet alley.

As he steps closer to me I begin to worry, not that I'm scared of him. He seems very nice and he's not ugly either. There is no going back if I do this and as much as I want it, I worry about what will happen if Alex still won't take me back. I'll be stuck with a kid for the rest of my life. "Are you really going to help me? I mean why would you want to?"

His breath tickles my ear as he whispers against it. "I know what it's like to love someone who wants to be with somebody else. I'm going to help you, that is if you want my help?"

My eyes shutter closed, his mouth sucks my earlobe lightly. "Yes." He reaches between us, running his rough hands up my thigh. My panties slip down my legs and he lifts me off the ground, pressing my back against the hard brick of the building. The echoing sound of his zipper is almost drowned out by the panting of our breath.

He enters me slowly and soon quickens the pace. It only takes a few minutes for him to finish and I'd be disappointed if I was in it for the sex and not the sperm. "Are you okay?"

It really is very sweet that he is concerned. "I'm fine. Thank you for doing this, I hope it works." He pulls out and tucks himself back into his pants, zipping it up carefully watching as I pull my panties back on.

He pulls a pen and a piece of paper out of his back pocket and scribbles on it, ripping a small piece off the bottom. "Here's my number just in case you need to do it again."

I watch his retreating form wander back to the side door of the bar. "Wait, I don't even know your name."

He turns around and smiles at me. "My name is Jeff, Jeff Pope."


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Izzie's POV

All I want is to do sleep, sink down into the soft blankets of my bed and let my body relax. It has been a very hard day, starting with the fact that I felt like everyone was talking about me. When I walked into a room everyone stared, when I left the whispering would start. I cornered Olivia in the stairwell this afternoon and asked what the hell was going on. I knew people would be talking about me after leaving Mark for Alex, but I didn't think it would be to this extent. Olivia rambled, something about not knowing what I was talking about and insisted she hadn't heard anything as I loomed over her. My pager went off before I could get any real information out of her. I spent the rest of the day in surgery.

My body aches all over and I feel exhausted. I kick off my shoes and climb the steps. The lights are off and I think maybe Alex is asleep, especially if his day was anything like mine. "Hey, I thought you'd never get home." His voice is low, sexy. If I wasn't so tired I'd be so turned on just from hearing his voice.

"I thought you would be asleep, how was your day?" I ask. In the soft light of the room I can see a brief smile. I push my jeans down over my hips and let them drop to the floor

"Boring, incredibly boring." He chuckles, I'm sure there is a story behind that laugh but right now I just want to rest. "You alright Iz?" I tug my shirt up over my head and toss it to the floor; I'll pick it up in the morning.

"I'm fine, just tired. Do you mind if we just go to sleep?" I say as I climb into the bed next to him, his arms wrap around me. He pulls me closer to him, covering me with the blanket.

"Get some sleep; you look like you need it. We can talk over breakfast in the morning." He kisses my cheek and I quickly drift off to sleep.

The next morning I fight to open my eyes, it's almost like I have been weeks without sleep. My hand reaches for Alex's side of the bed, its empty and the smell of brewed coffee, greasy sausage and eggs makes my stomach turn. I tighten my jaw and swallow, trying to push aside the sick feeling. "Izzie, you look like you're gonna get sick." I hadn't even realized that he was back in the room. "How long have you felt like this?"

His hand covers my forehead, holding it there for a moment before brushing the hair away from my face. "Last night…" I swallow again.

"You felt this way last night?" He asks, clearly concerned.

"No, last night before I came home….I treated a kid with the flu, he puked all over me. I must've caught it." I knew I should've just come home, but no I had to be nice and cover for Cristina so she could get in on that heart transplant she went on about.

"I'll call the hospital; you shouldn't be going in today."

"I've got to go…I've got a…" I struggle to sit up, ignoring the fact that the room is spinning.

"Whoa…You are not going anywhere. You need to rest." His strong arms guide me back down to the bed and I know it is useless to try, there is no way he's gonna let me leave the house in this condition, not that I would get further than the bathroom.

After covering me back up he lifts the tray of food he must have brought in here and leaves the room. I'll close my eyes for a minute, just a minute…..


	41. Chapter 41

-1Kelly's POV

Negative. Negative. Negative. All these damn pregnancy tests are negative! It can't be right, Jeff and I have had more sex this week than Alex and I ever had and still no brat growing inside of me. One more chance, just one and then I will think of some way to get out of this lie. Maybe go back to Iowa for a while. I can tell Alex it's too hard to see him with another woman and I need to be able to concentrate on our baby. When I call him and tell him about the miscarriage I will be sure to cry about how alone I feel, maybe he will fly out to be with me.

I scoop up the small fortune of pregnancy tests that are scattered across the bathroom floor, tossing them back into the same bag I snuck them up here in. The worst part about staying in Izzie's old room is the lack of privacy. Honestly, how much information do you need about what someone else is doing in the bathroom? Lexie is annoying; she's always watching everything I do. Alex made me apologize to her before I moved in, I don't get why he is so protective over these women. If you ask me they are a bunch of clingy bitches!

As I pull open the bathroom door, she falls toward me. No surprise, she's always there. "Did you need to get in here or are you offering to hold my hair back as I puke?"

Her eyes narrow suspiciously. "Were you sick cause I didn't hear anything?" She smiles at me as she crosses her arms. Irritating little shit, reminds me of my sister.

"Just nauseous, no actual puke. Too bad, you could have put your nursing skills to use." I smirk, knowing how to push her buttons.

"I'm a surgeon, not a nurse!" Although she's shorter than me, Lexie steps closer and looks up at me like she's ready for a fight. It's almost funny, I would kick her scrawny little ass if I didn't think it would fuck things up with Alex, however if she hit me he would probably never speak to her again.

"Hey, is there a problem?" Shit! It's Alex. I guess I'll have to piss of Lexie later.

"No, no problem. I was just going downstairs to get something to settle my stomach. I didn't know you were coming over this morning. Do you want me to make you breakfast?" I smile at him with my sweetest smile, hoping he will forget about walking in on the tension between Lexie and me.

"No thanks, Izzie made me breakfast already this morning." Bitch! "Why don't you go downstairs and I'll be down in a minute, I need to speak to Lexie about something…privately." Wow maybe I won't need to pick a fight, he sounds pissed at her already.

"Okay, I'll be downstairs." I wish I could stay. I really want to hear why he seems to be mad at her. "Alex, don't be too harsh with Lexie. I understand why she doesn't like me; I knew that she would still be upset about what I said to her…even after my apology. It will take some time but I'm sure we will become great friends. At least that's what I want."

I flash an innocent smile and walk away leaving them in the hallway alone

Alex's POV

I pull Lexie into her bedroom and close the door tightly behind us. I don't want anyone else to hear what I have to say. It's something private between me and Lexie, something that happened by accident. I lean in, so close I almost brush against her ear with my lips. "What did you find out?" I whisper, desperate to know if she has found out anything.

"She has been out late every night this week and spends over an hour in the bathroom every morning. She claims to be having morning sickness but I never hear her getting sick." Her breath tickles my ear as she reports a weeks worth of spying on Kelly. Do I feel bad about that? Yes…but it's necessary. I don't trust her, not even a little and I won't have her fucking things up for me on purpose. I called to speak to Meredith the night I suggested Kelly move in here, she wasn't home. Instead Lexie informed me of something she saw, something she thought I should know. While there to pack some of her things Izzie had let it slip to Lexie that Kelly was pregnant. Later that night Lexie was meeting someone at the Archfield for a drink in the hotel bar, she thought she saw Kelly sitting by herself downing shots, not something she should be doing if she was pregnant. Lexie ducked behind a wall and left shortly after, not sure what to do with this information she kept it to herself. She wasn't completely sure it was Kelly and didn't want to accuse her of anything she wasn't sure of. I asked for her help. Help keeping a watchful eye on Kelly for me. "I don't think she suspects that I'm doing this for you but she does realize I've been watching her."

"Okay just keep doing what you're doing and let me know if you find out anything." I step past her, before reaching for the door. I pause, looking back at her briefly. "Thanks for doing this Lexie." It means a lot, something isn't right I can feel it.

.


	42. Chapter 42

Alex's POV

I sat at the table watching her with some amusement as she poured hot sauce over her blueberry pancakes instead of syrup. "What are you doing?"

Her eyes lift from the plate momentarily. "Thought I'd try something different." The awful smell from the combination makes my mouth water, and not in a good way. "Do you want to try it?" She cuts off a piece and drags it through the fiery red sauce.

I stare at it as she holds the fork out for me to try. "I think I'll pass."

"Okay, but you don't know what you're missing." She teases as she waves the fork under my nose one last time.

"I'll chance it." I watch as she places the fork in her mouth, closes her lips and slides it out empty. Her eyes flutter closed as she begins to chew, like it's the best tasting thing she has ever experienced. It makes me ill. "I can't watch you eat that, I'm gonna go."

"You're leaving? We don't want you to go." She self-consciously rubs her belly with her free hand, making me smile. I never thought a simple action like that would affect me like it has. Since the moment she uttered the words 'I'm pregnant' little things like touching her stomach or watching her eat things that shouldn't even be allowed to share the same plate, have the ability to make me emotional. It's an amazing thing. I'm excited to be a father, if you told me a year ago that I would feel this way I would have told you, you were out of your fucking mind! I wouldn't be good at it; it's not something anyone would want me for.

"I've got to get to the hospital." She looks disappointed, I'm trying to spend as much time with her as I can but it hasn't been easy. I have a lot going on in my life at the moment. "I know I asked you not to say anything about this baby to anyone yet but I think we should tell people, tonight."

"Really? I think that's a great idea. Thank you Alex."

"Why don't we meet at Joe's tonight, we can tell them there." I suggest. "Around seven?"

She smiles. "Seven is perfect."

--

She's an hour late and I can't help but worry. "Hey what's this big news you wanted to tell us?" Meredith asks as I stare at the door. "Alex!"

"Huh?" I know she said something but I haven't been listening. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little worried about Kelly, she was supposed to be here at seven and it's been over an hour." Where is she? As much as I don't trust her I can't stop myself from caring, she's the mother of my kid….at least I think she is.

"Have you tried calling her?" Olivia asks.

"Her cell phone is off." Izzie answers as she squeezes my hand. She's as worried as I am and I love her for that. "This can be done some other time. I'll help you look for her."

"You won't have to look very far." I glance at Cristina and see she's staring at the door, or rather Kelly who is stumbling inside carrying close to a dozen bags.

I rush to her side and lift the heavy bags from her hands. "Are you okay? I've been so worried." I place them on the floor near our table.

"I'm fine….look what I bought!" She reaches into the bag and pulls out a tiny pink sundress with little yellow flowers. "Isn't it adorable?" She squeals. "I know we are going to have the cutest little girl…well I don't know, but I just have this strong feeling that our little baby is gonna be a girl."

I look at her in disbelief. "You've been shopping for baby clothes?"

"No, not really I just got that one outfit. The rest is for me." I can feel the anger bubbling inside me, threatening to erupt.

"I've been worried about you and you've been shopping…I tried to call you about fifty times!" The look on her face tells me she doesn't understand why I was worried, or maybe it's just she doesn't really care about anyone but herself. I'm not sure.

"What's the big deal? I'm here now…nothing to worry about." She smiles sweetly at me and sits down at the table. "If it's alright with you I'd like to be the one to tell them our wonderful news…."

"You're pregnant?" Cristina casually guesses as her eyes roll to the tiny dress spread out on the table. "What a shocker. " She adds sarcastically, she tries to say it under her breath but fails to do so.

Kelly ignores Cristina's comment. "I'm pregnant! Isn't it just the best news you've ever heard? Now I know what you are all thinking and Alex didn't know I was pregnant when he ripped my heart in two and broke up with me, so please don't be mad at him. " I feel Izzie squeeze my hand tightly, she's probably trying to hold herself back from slapping Kelly.

"Is this seriously what you brought us here for? Cristina hops off the nearby stool; clearly she's unimpressed with the news that I've impregnated my ex-girlfriend. "I hope you're going to at least pay my tab so it was worth it to have to listen to that."

"Yang sit back down….there's more." I wait for another biting comment from her. There isn't one, she just rolls her eyes as she sits back down. "Okay here's the thing….I found out Kelly was pregnant after Izzie and I got back together. I plan on being a father to my kid and that's why she moved here, it wasn't because of a job offer like I told most of you." I glance around the room at my friends who remain quiet. My eyes land on the woman who has become my spy, the only other person besides Izzie to know about my situation with Kelly. Lexie offers me a small smile of encouragement. I turn my attention to the woman sitting next to me, seeking her approval for what I'm about to do. Her soft smile is all I need to know she wants me to continue. "I did ask you all here to tell you I'm going to be a father, something I never thought I'd want….but here I am, excited for the birth of my babies."

"Wait, babies? Twins?" Meredith looks at Kelly and then back at me. "Uh…congratulations."

"Alex, I never told you I was having twins…"

"I'm pregnant." Izzie blurts out. I notice the hurt look on George's face, I don't know if he's upset because she didn't tell him sooner or if it's because he and Olivia are having a hard time getting pregnant. I'm going to assume it's the latter, because even now I get this slight knee-jerk reaction when it comes to their friendship and I don't want to torture my self with the possibility that he still has feelings beyond friendship. I suppose it will always be in the back of my mind. "I found out last week and Alex asked me not to say anything until we decided how to tell you about all of this."

"You're pregnant?" Kelly asks loudly, she doesn't appear to be too happy. "How does Mark feel about that? It is his…right?" In the excitement of it all, I hadn't given it much thought that Izzie's baby might not be mine and her now pale face tells me she hadn't thought about that either. "Or were you just planning on letting Alex think your baby was his so he'd forget about me?"

"Kelly!" I won't let her do this, not to Izzie. "That's enough!"

"I'm sorry Alex I just won't let her trap you like this…" Izzie's eyes fill with tears as she excuses herself and runs to the bathroom. "…and I won't let you forget about our baby for one that might not even be yours!" I ignore her words and try to go after Izzie when Kelly grabs my arm to stop me. "Please Alex…"

I shrug her off without a word, right now I can't even look at her and I certainly have nothing to say to her. All I can do is worry about Izzie right now. I push open the door to the ladies room and step inside, not really caring who sees me do it. I hear a soft sniffle coming from the last stall. "Iz?"

"This is the ladies room Alex, you shouldn't be in here." She blows her nose.

"I don't care Izzie."

"I'm pretty sure the woman in the next stall does." I look at the other stall and notice for the first time the black heeled boots under the door. It doesn't matter because I came in here to do something and I'm not leaving until I do it.

"I don't care if it's not my baby, I love you and we'll work things out…with Sloan." I still think the guy's an ass but we would work it out. "As far as I'm concerned, regardless of the baby's paternity….I'm that baby's father and I always will be, because I'm so in love with you." I take a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm going to do this here…I want to marry you Izzie."

"What?" I can barely hear her small voice.

"Will you marry me Izzie?" The stall door opens and our eyes lock. "I'd get down on one knee but we are in the bathroom at Joe's and who knows what is crawling around down there." I smile and pull out the small box I've been carrying around with me for a few weeks. "Before you ask, I bought it before you told me you were pregnant so that's not what this is about."

"I didn't think…that's not what I was thinking."

"What were you thinking?" I hold my breath, scared of what her answer is going to be.

Tears roll down her cheeks as she takes a step closer to me. "I was thinking it's about time you asked." She smiles and I inhale deeply before I pass out. "I'll marry you…on one condition, that we do it now…tonight. No more waiting."

"How do you feel about Vegas?"


	43. Chapter 43

-1Kelly's POV

I can't believe he just walked away like that, to chase her into the ladies room of a bar. The bitch stole my idea, not that I can call her out on it. I'm sure they are in there right now fighting…thanks to me. "He'll never love you."

Oh, it's the bitchy one. "Excuse me?"

"He's in love with her, not you and that's not going to change no matter what pathetic attempt you make. It's just not gonna happen." Her voice was even toned, no emotion. She wasn't threatening or cruel, she was simply informing me.

"Cristina….I'm not trying to change anything." I move closer to her. "You're a smart woman, clearly you can see that Alex is going to get hurt when Izzie finds out she's carrying another man's baby." Her eyes carefully inspect the label of the bottle in her hand as she picks at the paper. I cover her hand with mine to stop her movements, her eyes lift and soften a bit as she sees the expression of worry on my face. "I love him and I will be here to pick up the pieces when she goes back to Mark, and she will go back to him. You know it and I know it. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that Izzie is the type of woman who craves that perfect little family."

"Stop touching me." Her eyes scrunch in disgust, letting me know I should take my hand off her as soon as possible. I pull away quickly, with the feeling that she is the last person I want to mess with.

"Maybe someone should go check on them, make sure everything is okay." The little redhead suggests. "George?" She nods her head in the direction of the ladies room.

"Me…why me? I'm not going in the woman's restroom, not a chance." He shakes his head, protesting adamantly. I suppose I could go check on them….out of concern for Alex of course. I hold back a smile as I take a step in the direction they are all watching intensely. The door opens and they walk out holding hands, smiling at each other sweetly. My jaw clenches tightly, seeing them like this makes me want to spew forth a reign of terror in the form of obscenities that would make a sailor blush.

"Is everything okay Iz?" Meredith asks her.

"Everything's fine. I really just need some rest. Thank you for worrying." Ugh she's so…so irritating! Everything's fine, who does she think she's kidding? Everything's not fine, how can it be? She's knocked up and has no clue which one did it to her, Alex or Mark.

"Yes, you should go home and get some sleep, you really look awful." At once they all turn to look at me. "I know how you feel, I'm constantly tired. Not to mention the morning sickness…this little girl is just sucking the energy right out of me. It's worth it though, just knowing without certainty that I'm carrying Alex's baby….Oh sorry I didn't mean to…."

"It's okay…I know exactly what you meant." Her eyes narrow as she looks at me.

"Can I talk to you?" Alex doesn't wait for my answer, he leads me by the arm away from the group. "I'm telling you right now, you need to stop doing that."

"Doing what? I'm not sure I know what you mean?" He frowns and tilts his head to the side as if to ask me if I'm serious. "Okay so you're right, I'm doing it on purpose…but I'm doing it for you! Alex you're gonna get hurt, she's pregnant and it may not be yours. Have you asked yourself what's going to happen if it's not?"

"Nothings gonna happen, we're gonna work everything out." It's sad, he really does believe that.

"I'm sorry I've probably gone about it all wrong Alex but you have to know that I'm only trying to protect you because I care…I still love…" I am about to tell him I still love him when he cuts me off.

"Kelly." He warns. "I'm in love with Izzie, always have been. I'm sorry."

"Wow…I get it. I think maybe it's best if I moved back home, you have a life here and we don't want to get in the way of your happiness. I'll call you….when the baby is born, if you want." A single salty tear rolls down my cheek and I avert my eyes from his. In this light they are perhaps the sexiest I've ever seen and I would love to just grab him by the collar of his shirt and throw him down on the floor, ignoring the sticky film that covers it from spilled drinks and god knows what else. I would give him the ride of his life on this dirty bar floor, one that he would be fantasizing about every time he climbed between her legs. "I can try to be on a plane tonight, maybe tomorrow. My sister will let me stay with her for a while."

"Look don't leave, not until we have a chance to talk about this. I've got a pretty hectic schedule for the next few days but I'll call you tomorrow." He backs away slowly.

"Okay." I knew he wouldn't let me leave, he does still love me too….even if he hasn't realized it yet.


	44. Chapter 44

-1Alex's POV

We are in the air, on the only flight that had two last minute seats. I hear her soft snore and look down at the golden strands of hair splayed across my chest as her head is slumped against my shoulder. I can see the lights of the city through the small window. Soon I will be married to Izzie Stevens, the girl I have been in love with since my intern year at Seattle Grace. I'm marrying Izzie, I can't stop saying it in my mind. Maybe I'm trying to convince myself it's real, after all I never imagined we would be doing this one day. I always thought if I got married, it would be in a cheesy Vegas chapel….I just figured there would be alcohol involved. I want to let her rest, she needs it, but I just can't stop myself from kissing the top of her head lightly.

Izzie's POV

My eyes flutter open as I am pulled out of the most wonderful dream, Alex and I are getting married. Except it's not a dream at all, it's a dream come true. To think when I first met him I thought he was the biggest ass I'd ever met in my life. No way was I ever gonna let someone like him in my pants…and what did I do, I let him into my heart. I don't regret it for one moment, I only wish we could've figured it out sooner. I peer down at the ring on my left hand as my fingers lay protectively on my stomach. A lump forms in my throat as I push away the uncertain feelings that start to invade my body. I know what I have to do, tell Mark. I don't really know how he will react, we never talked about kids. We never talked about anything, the sex seemed to get in the way of that somehow.


	45. Chapter 45

Izzie's POV

After nineteen hours of marriage, Alex and I had our first disagreement. Mark deserves to know about the baby and I have to tell him by myself. Alex didn't want me to do this, not yet and certainly not alone. After gently explaining to him that I felt I owed it to Mark to tell him myself, just like Kelly had owed it to him, he caved.

I stand in front of his room for what seems like hours, but is in fact only minutes. I finally find the courage to knock.

He looks like he has just woken up, his hair is a mess and his shirt is wrinkled somewhat. The moment I see him, I wish Alex had come with me. How am I supposed to do this? Just blurt it out or do I ease into it slowly? I guess I had better figure it out quickly. If I stand here too long without saying a word, who knows what he will think.

"Hey." He doesn't say anything, just moves aside to let me in. "We need to talk about something."

The corners of his mouth lift slightly, offering me a small smile I wasn't expecting. "Congratulations on the baby Izzie, you and Karev must be excited."

I'm stunned. "How did you know?" A knot forms in my stomach, whoever told him will have to deal with me and my surging hormones.

"Last night, Karev's ex showed up here in tears. She told me you were pregnant and she thought I should know about it." Heat rushes to my cheeks, that little bitch. "…and then I think she hit on me."

"I…I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you myself."

He shrugs. "It's okay, don't worry about it." He's taking this surprisingly well. I guess it is time to tell him the rest, the part Kelly does not know about.

I sigh. "There's more." He sits down on the edge of the bed and pats the spot next to him. I sit and take another deep breath. "Alex and I got married last night." He says nothing so I keep talking. "I want you to know, if you turn out to be the father…Alex and I both want you to be a big part of this baby's life. We would never try to take that away from you."

He actually laughs, I'm so worried about what he's gonna say next. "Izzie, I'm not the father." The calm tone of his voice has me freaking out a little. Aware of this, he starts to explain. "I had a vasectomy, a long time ago…after Addison." He didn't tell me the rest. He didn't need to. I already knew what he was talking about. Addison had an abortion before she left New York. "She said I wouldn't make a good father and I think she was right, so I went and had it done. No kid deserves a shitty father."

"I still want you to take a paternity test….just in case. It's not always effective and….."

He doesn't let me finish. "I have myself tested every year. I was tested right around the last time we had sex. I'll show it to you if you like and if it makes you feel better I'll take a paternity test when the baby is born, but I don't think it's really necessary."

"So there's no way….I mean you don't have any…" God, I sound like an idiot. I never thought I'd be standing in front of Mark Sloan, asking him about his sperm count.

"Swimmers?" He reaches out and takes my hand. "No, there is no way I'm the father." I let out a small sigh of relief; Alex is my baby's father. "You'll be a great mother Izzie. Karev is a lucky man and if he fucks it up…I'll kick his ass."

I smile, slip my hand out of his and rise from my seated position. "Thank you." I lean in and place a kiss to his forehead; he is a better man than he thinks.

I cross the room and open the door; I cannot wait to tell Alex.


	46. Chapter 46

Alex's POV

After Izzie left the house, I knew I could not just pace the floors waiting for her return. She was going to talk to Sloan about the baby. I wanted to go with her but she convinced me it would be better if I let her do it on her own, a decision I regretted the moment she walked out the door.

I thought for a second about going to Joe's for a drink, but decided against it. All our friends were probably there, and I knew that someone would spot the wedding band on my finger and I would have to explain. I wasn't up for twenty questions.

I got in my Jeep and drove, not sure, where I was going. I began to think about the situation with Kelly. I have my suspicions about her but that is all they are, suspicions. I have no real proof of anything right now.

The blue flashing lights in my rearview mirror suddenly caught my attention; unaware of what I might have done wrong I pulled over to the side of the road. I was a little relieved when he sped by me and disappeared, turning onto a side street. I saw another flashing light, this one from the blinking red and yellow neon sign on the building to my left. It was a bar, and from the looks, it was just starting to fill with people. The parking area was small, only room enough for maybe a dozen cars. Luckily, there were plenty of open spaces in the vacant parking lot across the street.

As far as bars go, it wasn't the worst one I had ever been in. It wasn't far from it though. I took a seat at a table in the back. A pair of big bouncing boobs attached to a girl who looked way to young for this place approached my table. "Hi, I'm Leann." She twisted her honey colored hair through her fingers. "Is this seat taken?" Before I could tell her yes, she plopped down into the seat next to me. "So you wanna take me home?" I am a little shocked at how bold she is and it reminds me of the night I met Kelly.

"I don't think so, sorry." I hold up my left hand, hoping she will get the point. I'm married and not looking to take someone home.

"I won't tell if you won't." Her bright emerald eyes sparkle as she challenges me, if I had met this girl a few years ago I'd be screwing her out in my car right now. In fact, the last time I did that, I was stuck with Kelly for five years and look how well that turned out.

I would have to be stern, I knew as soon as her hand rested on my thigh. "I'm not interested." Grasping her hand, I placed it on top of the sticky wooden table.

Leann pouted, probably not used to being rejected. "How about a threesome? Your wife must be hot."

"She is…and I don't think so." I shook my head at her. This girl was unbelievable. Her eyes narrowed, for a moment, I thought maybe she was going to slap me across the face. I braced myself, getting ready for the sting of her hand connecting with my cheek. I've been slapped before, plenty of times and the scowl upon her face told me it was about to happen again.

To my surprise, her fists balled up in front of her face and she started crying, not exactly what I expected out of a woman who was asking for my wife and me to fuck her a few minutes ago. "I'm sorry. I'm so pathetic…no wonder my boyfriend is screwing someone else." Her body heaved as she cried, I felt bad for her. "I thought maybe if he saw me with someone else, he'd get jealous and stop having sex with that woman." Her fingers wiped furiously at her wet eyes, smearing the small amount of makeup she wore. "You're the cutest guy to walk into this place in a long time…you even have all of your teeth." She started crying harder.

Why do women do this to me? I have no clue what to say to her. Where is O'Malley when I actually need him? "The guy sounds like an ass; you should dump him and find someone who isn't going to screw someone else."

"He is an ass! Never got over his ex-wife." She tugs at the napkins in the holder on the table. "The funny thing is she cheated on him, and now he's cheating on me." She blows her nose into the napkin and tosses it on the table before grabbing another. "Can you believe it? He hates this guy that fucked up his marriage and he's really no better if you ask me."

"Sounds like his ex really did a number on him." I glance at my watch, not caring to hear anymore. I wonder if Izzie is home yet.

"And when I confronted him, he said it wasn't the same. He said he was only doing it to get back at the guy that stole his wife." She paused to blow her nose again. "It's been eight years, get over it already!" Her voice rises as she stares toward the front. "He's trying to get this woman pregnant, so she can get her ex back."

"How does that get back at the jerk who stole his wife?" I ask. I hate to admit, I'm actually getting interested in her story.

"That's the insane part." She snorts. "This woman he's doing was dating the man who stole his precious ex wife, apparently he dumped her for his dream girl and Jeff figures if he can help her get pregnant she can convince him to go back to her."

"Is this guy an idiot? Why would he go back to her? He has his dream girl." Just like, I have mine.

"The 'idiot' thinks it's his baby and she has some plan to win him back." The poor idiot, it's worse than a soap opera. "And if it doesn't work she's gonna make his life miserable. I feel bad for the guy. Jeff wants him to suffer." Just as she was about to go on, a tiny woman with a drink tray in her hand stopped at our table.

"Leann, quit bothering this guy with your bullshit." The woman scolded.

Leann rolls her eyes. "Misty, mind your own business. My friend…" For the first time, she realizes she never asked my name in her haste to get me into bed.

"Alex." I say.

"My friend Alex and I are having a private conversation, so just slink back to the bar and get us a few drinks." She smiles in my direction. "My treat."

Once the waitress is gone, I turn to Leann "That's not really necessary you know."

"It's the least I can do, you've been really nice. Besides Jeff owns this place so my drinks are free." I smile and thank her.

"You want to see the woman he's screwing?" She asks.

"She's here?" I glance around the crowded bar, most of the women are not very attractive and for a minute I wonder how angry this Jeff guy is to have sex with a woman that's probably more manly than he is. Leann is easily the hottest woman in here.

"Nope, but she should be here any minute. They meet every night and fuck in the alley behind the bar." This woman sounds classy, I laugh to myself. "There she is, right on time." Leann points toward the door.

My head seems to turn in slow motion, as you see in the movies. I can feel my heart thumping loudly as I watch the woman who is screwing Leann's boyfriend move through the crowd. It's Kelly.


	47. Chapter 47

Alex's POV

I'm not sure what was louder, the drumming of my fingers against the solid wood of the table or the beating of my heart. It was 2am. I had been sitting alone for hours, not a soul home. When I arrived, Lexie was just leaving for her shift at the hospital. It must have been the look on my face. She didn't ask what happened. I was glad she didn't.

"Alex? What are you doing here this late?" I heard her surprised voice as she pushed open the door to the kitchen. She snapped on the light, I flinched as my eyes adjusted to the brightness of it.

"I'm here to see you." I pause. "Where have you been?" Trying her best to avoid the question, she moved past the table and went straight for the fridge. Opening the door, she reached for a cold water. "Kelly, where have you been?" I try again.

"I couldn't sleep, so I went for a drive." She twisted the plastic cap, opened the bottle and took a sip. "I wasn't expecting you. Are…is everything okay Alex?"

"No, not really." She sat next to me, I had to fight the urge to jump up and start yelling at her.

She placed her hand on mine. "It's Izzie isn't it?" I'm not sure how to respond without blowing up, so I don't say anything. "I'm sorry Alex, but she was bound to go back to him. I know it's probably too soon right now, but when you're ready….I'm here for you." She pulled my hand softly, placing it on her abdomen. "We're here for you."

"I know." I slowly rubbed circles on her stomach. My jaw tightens as I stare at where our baby was supposed to be. "I've been thinking. I want you to let me take care of you, you and the baby." I couldn't look at her, knowing Izzie should be the one I was making that promise too. Not her.

Eye's widened; she leaned forward and kissed me quickly. "Oh Alex, I've been waiting so long." Another kiss, this one lingered a bit longer. "I want you so much." She whispered against my ear before sucking softly on the skin just below it.

I push gently against her shoulders until our eyes meet. "I've asked one of the top Neonatal specialists to take over your case, as a personal favor to me. I want nothing but the best care for my baby." I search her eyes for any sign of guilt, there is none. Just panic. "We've got an appointment with her in the morning."

Gritting my teeth, I braced myself for the excuses that would soon tumble out. "I don't want to see a new doctor Alex, I'm healthy. There is no need for a specialist." Very soon, there will be no more excuses left and no more lies.

"I'm not saying there is anything wrong, I just want to make sure you are both taken care of. Let's just meet with her, let her make sure everything is okay. If it is, we can continue with your current physician if that's what you want to do." How could she say no to that, it's what she's been after all along. My involvement in the life of a lie she created.

"No, I….I can't." Her eyes drop to the floor, studying the outdated patterns of the linoleum.

"Why can't you Kelly?" I sit back and listen as she tearfully admits the truth; she was never pregnant with my baby. "I saw you, with Jeff Pope tonight."

"Who?" Her cries subside, turning into soft sniffles as she wipes at her eyes. "Am I supposed to know who that is?"

"Jeff Pope, he's the man you've been fucking to get pregnant. The man who blames me for his wife leaving him." It took only a second for realization to dawn upon her, she understood now that the married woman I'd slept with so many years ago, was Jeff's ex-wife.

"I didn't know, I…I'm sorry." It's the first thing she's said that I do believe; the look on her face was genuine. "Look I know I've done a lot of horrible things, but we can still make things work now that Izzie's out of the picture."

"Izzie's not out of the picture." I place my left hand on the table, the glint of gold catching her eye. "Izzie's my wife. I want you out of my life Kelly." I stood; ready to bolt out the door and into the cold night air.

"No, Alex…please don't do this. Please?" She pleaded as I turned from her tear stained face.

"It's over Kelly. Tomorrow morning you will pack your stuff and catch the first plane back to Iowa." Without giving her the chance to argue, I walked out the back door. I didn't care if she was hurt, she could cry all night. I was on my way home….home to my wife.


	48. Chapter 48

Alex's POV

I slid under the cool sheets, moving until I could feel the warmth of her body. I want to wake her, to tell her Kelly is gone from our lives. It's just me, her and the baby now…and maybe Mark Sloan. I know I told Izzie that it wouldn't bother me if the baby belonged to him, but it does. That is my baby and my wife; I don't want to share them with him. Not the birth or the diaper changes, the feedings, first steps or bedtime stories. Not skinned knees, tiny whispers of I love you and most of all, I don't want to share that one important word. Daddy. I want all those things more than I've ever wanted anything, and I dread the thought of sharing them with him. I'll do it though, for her. "Alex? What time is it?"

Fatigue has overwhelmed her lately; my good news can wait until morning. "It's late, go back to sleep." I go in for a quick kiss, only to have her deepen it immediately. "Iz." I pull back after a few minutes; I need to tell her now. In a few minutes, when she is all over me, I'll have forgotten what I wanted to say. "I've got to tell you what happened tonight." It's hard to concentrate with her hand snaking down into my boxers. "Kelly's gone Iz, for good." Her hand stilled and slowly she removed it.

"What do you mean, gone for good?" Izzie whispers, intently listening for my explanation.

"She's going back to Iowa." I smile, relief finally settling in. On my drive home, I was too busy going over everything in my head to really let it sink in. I could have spent the rest of my life raising a baby, conceived out of lies and a desperate need to trap a man. If that phantom baby had been mine, I would have. Somehow, it's so different from my situation with Izzie and the baby that is growing inside her.

She sits up and flicks on the lamp. "But, the baby?" I hear the concern and confusion mixed with a bit of hope. I love her ability to do that, find hope in something that scares and confuses her at the same time.

"There is no baby Iz, she lied." From the very beginning, she lied. "We won't have to worry about her anymore, it's over." I expect to see her smile, instead her face contorts, anger flashing in her dark eyes.

"She lied?" She hissed through clenched teeth. She was mad, really mad. "I can't believe she lied to you! I can't believe she lied about a poor innocent little baby! How did she think she would get away with that Alex?" Her cheeks redden and her voice gets louder.

I reach out, brushing my thumb along her cheekbone. Her eyes flutter as she leans into my touch. "Look I know you're angry, I'm angry too." She sighs, a golden curl falling into her eyes. With my other hand, I loop it around my finger and tuck it back behind her ear. "It's not good for you to get all worked up over this; she's gone and we're still here. We're married." I smile at her, watching as her anger melts away. She breaks out into a smile of her own and I cautiously move onto the next subject, as I'm sure it will not be an easy one. "Speaking of us being married, how did it go with Sloan?"

"Surprisingly well." She beams. "As a matter of fact, it went…Mark is sterile." She blurts, barely able to contain herself.

She waits patiently for a reaction. I think I laughed. "I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you say that Mark Sloan…" She cuts me off, almost immediately.

"I did, and he is. One hundred percent sterile. That means that this baby." Her hand smoothes over the tiny swell of her stomach. "This baby is yours Alex."

"No, this baby." My hand touches her arm as I slide it down, resting it on top of her hand. "This baby is ours."


	49. Chapter 49

Ten tiny pink fingers and ten tiny pink toes. She was perfect, swaddled in a soft blanket. Her little fist curled up next to her chin as she slept; Izzie says she gets that from me. Nicole was the name we gave her and as I heard the tiny snores rumble out of her, I decided I would nickname her appropriately. I would call her Nic and much like her Aunt Meredith, she would be a small angelic girl who snored like a trucker. "She's beautiful Alex." Izzie beamed as she peered down at our daughter, sleeping soundly in her arms.

"Yeah, she is." I agree, having only ever seen one other girl as beautiful. "She's got your nose."

She smiles, tracing her finger over the baby's chin. "Yes, but she's got your mouth."

"Let's hope not, one mouth like yours is enough." Cristina plopped down in the empty chair beside the door. It was well known, babies were not her thing and it was enough that she made an effort to visit.

"Zip it Yang." Flashing a quick smirk, I noticed Lexie had walked in behind her. My attention quickly went back to the tiny bundle in my wife's arms. A perfect combination of her parents, Nicole chose that moment to make her opinion known. Her lip quivered and a second later, she was crying loudly. "See, she agrees."

Lexie's eyes narrowed. "Wow, what a set of lungs." Smiling as she brought one hand up, covering an ear.

"Just like her father." Cristina quipped, keeping up with our usual game of insults.

"She's hungry." Izzie stated. Instinctively she held the baby to her breast before pushing the materiel that covered her aside. Nicole wasted no time in taking it into her mouth.

"Like I said, just like her father." Cristina said, rolling her eyes as she hopped off the chair and turned toward the door. "Cute kid."

"Meredith said she would stop by later, she's in surgery." Lexie jumped as Cristina yelled for her to hurry up, must be some sort of knee jerk reaction. Lexie was no longer Cristina's intern, hadn't been for a while. "Congratulations, she is really adorable."

After she left, it was just us again. As I watched them, I couldn't help but think of my dad. Did he feel this way when I was born, so complete? Somehow, I doubted it. "Alex, are you okay?"

She was looking at me with concern; it was as if she knew I was thinking about my father. "Yeah." Pressing my lips to her cheek, I assured her I was more than okay. As long as I have them, I will be just fine. I finally feel like I'm home.


End file.
